As far as I can tell, the roots of this current blockage are three-fold.
First is a nagging self-doubt. I have increasingly come to feel that -- especially but not exclusively as regards matters relating the global realpolitik - my opinions and suspicions are neither sufficiently grounded in verifiable data, nor all that interesting to anyone other than myself, to merit publication. This is due to a number of factors, not least of which is the increasing and calculated pollution of the media streams which constitute the sum totality of my information gathering resources.
Corporate journalism is hopelessly compromised by trickledown meddling from management, ownership and above. The alternative media -- always something of a haven for attention-craving crackpots with dubious hidden agendas -- now play host to a growing number of agents provocateur. These PsyOps warriors dispense expertly crafted disinformation designed to send would-be truth-seekers dashing madly off in all directions, chasing wild geese, red herrings and jackalopes. Perfect cover for the crimes of their elite clientele.
Knowing that most of the writers whose opinions I respect drink from the same poisoned well as I do only serves to compound my despair. How can you trust your instincts when you can't even trust the information on which said instincts are based?
Which brings me to my second problem: outrage fatigue. Today, after six years of writing about The Powers That Be getting away with literal and metaphorical murder, I feel as though I know how Sisyphus felt as he rolled that boulder up the hill, over and over again, only to watch it tumble back to the bottom every time he came close to reaching the top. I imagine it's the exact same kind of fatigue which has caused Capitol Hill Blue founder Doug Thompson to finally call it quits. From his 'no mas' farewell editorial:
"I'm tired and this tilting at windmills business is exhausting. I've been writing about the foibles, corruption and misdeeds of politicians for more than 40 years but the system we have today is worse than ever. I'm no longer sure that trying to educate a deaf audience through journalism is worth the time or the effort."
While yer old pal Jerky isn't quite arrogant enough to consider himself an educator, he certainly groks Thompson's sentiment. So many Daily Dirt readers, with the best of intentions, write me, asking: "Why haven't you written anything about the missing White House e-mails, or that creepy Negroponte's appearance before the Senate Intelligence Committee, or the leaked documents that show Bush and Blair were planning to trick Saddam into war, or the missing billions in Iraqi reconstruction funds, or Halliburton's new no-bid contract to build detention camps on American soil?"
My (so far unspoken) answer to these questions is an exasperated "What's the fucking point?" Writing about the crimes of The Powers That Be is beginning to feel like performing surgery on myself without anesthesia. It hurts like hell, and I only have a vague hint as to what I'm doing, which means I'll likely fuck it up in the long run.
Which brings me to my third problem: Disillusionment.
According to legend, the last words spoken by Hassan i-Sabbah - the Old Man of the Mountain, head of the Order of Assassins -- were: "Nothing is true; everything is permitted." It is a maxim that makes explicit the fundamental idea at the heart of existentialism, that every individual is free to do whatever he is capable of doing. Utterly and terribly free. Ethics, morals, religious precepts, laws; all are artificial constructs created by men of greater or lesser wisdom, and all may be ignored by any individual or group possessing sufficient will and determination.
In other words, when Thrasymachus told Socrates: "justice is the advantage of the stronger", and that "injustice, if it is on a large enough scale, is stronger, freer, and more masterly than justice", he was right. The idea that the United States is a nation of laws is, and perhaps has always been, a lie. Maybe there's some truth to the idea that it's a "noble lie" in the tradition of Leo Strauss and his neoconservative disciples -- heirs to Thrasymachus' philosophy of power, via Machiavelli, Hobbes and Nietzsche -- but it remains a lie. Maybe our problem isn't that we're being lied to. Maybe our problem is that we're being lied to poorly.
And anyway, what good does it do us to know that it's a lie? That there is no set of rules that can't be gamed, that even commandments etched in stone can be chipped and chiseled away, given the right tools and mindset? In the bible, God forbade Adam and Eve to eat fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. The philosopher John Stuart Mill declared, only half jokingly, that "ignorance is bliss". In The Big Lebowski, Walter salves his friend's angst by declaring: "Fuck it, dude. Let's go bowling." I, for one, am beginning to think these gentlemen were on to something.
Are you confused? Are you sick of it all? Are you ready to call it quits and throw in the towel? Do you secretly wonder if it's you, not them? Are you constantly amazed by the daily parade of bald-faced liars who force their way into your living room and spew demonstrably ridiculous propaganda in your face as though their very lives depended on it?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then at least you know you're not alone.
(This editorial originally ran in the Daily Dirt on Febuary 2, 2006, but remains absolutely relevant to where yer old pal Jerky finds himself today. - YOPJ)
oh fuck....
ReplyDeleteI was about to say "writers block my ass" when I got to the end and found out it was a re-run. This is pretty good stuff and worthy of being a rerun. It seems the richer our media environments become, the shallower our attention, the less we know, and the harder it is to find truth in anything. Media ubiquity, postmodernism, singularity -- it's all side effects of human consciousness liberated from the confines of self -- on a mass scale. In other words, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, but there are environmental deterministic reasons for that.
ReplyDeleteThanks, guys. I am sort of blocked right now, still. It's been something of a half-decade block, to be honest - especially in regards to political writing. Ever since the Dirt ended and I had my catastrophic operation - among other things that happened to me - I just haven't been able to work up a good head of polemical steam. But I feel some new cakes baking up there in my brain-pan.
ReplyDeleteFuck, dude, I know exactly how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI've started a guest editorial to send to you on how and why wealthy people suck, but I just can't get past a few half-hearted sentences. I have a swirling overall theme, I just can't seem to make it coalesce in any interesting way...
And because the wealthy have ruined everything, I've had to learn about how they did it, which has lead me into the ultra-boring area of financial journalism (thank chaos for Matt Taibbi). There I get to wade through a shitload of jargon to find that these assholes are just re-labeling age-old cons and scams with high-falutin' language. And if I try to tell anyone about this shit, they give me a look resembling a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
When you try to explain to people that the price of gas is being manipulated not by war or scarcity but by cocksuckers from Goldman-Sachs gaming the Commodity Futures Trading Market, the disconnect is so great that you can watch on their faces the monkey wrench being thrown into their mental gears. The truthiness of the former explanation trumps the reality of the latter.
Aw, fuck, lemme give it another shot now that I've worked up a bit of a lather...
Jerky, You are (were) where I look (looked) for information when MY head is (was) swimming with BS overload. You have an amazing talent to suss out the truth of the situation. One link lead to another, then another. One thought lead to another until I could grasp things again.
ReplyDeleteI work with some of the most Redneck, Yokel, Farm boy Homeboys you can imagine right now and as Jack said if I try to shed some light on a given conversation I generally end up with the ole' deer in the headlights look. Beer n' Guns is about all that crowd can fully wrap their minds around.
An old coworker of mine once told me "I know what I know better than anyone else" So I just keep slogging through. I may not be the smartest Fucker around, but I know what I know.
Chin up old friend.
Jerky, Welcome back! You are not alone: Then Diogenes walked through Athens in broad daylight carrying a lighted lamp, saying that he was looking for a man! An Honest Man!
ReplyDeleteThanks, guys. It warms my heart to see your thoughtful comments, and to know that even after all these years, I can still count you among my virtual friends (and I don't mean that lightly).
ReplyDeletePS - Diogenes... I'm trying, brother... I'm trying.