JOKES OF THE DAY

Today's first joke comes to us from our old pal David Andrews, and it's our first new political joke. From the set-up, I'd say it's an oldie that's been re-purposed, but to be honest, it was new to me... and when it comes to jokes, yer old pal Jerky out-un-stumps Jackie the Jokeman Martling!

A man walked into the State office and spoke to the receptionist. "I would like to put my name forward for the next elections to be Governor of Florida."
The receptionist replied, "Certainly sir. Please fill in this form."
He filled in the form until he came to the question, 'Are you circumcised?'
So he asked the receptionist, "Is that question necessary?"
She replied, "It's new, but if you're circumcised you're not eligible."
He asked, "What difference would it make if I was circumcised?"
She replied, "To become the Governor, you have to be a complete prick."

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Today's second joke comes from Jim Manicke, and no, I do NOT want a hickey from Manicke, even though I do believe that is how that name is pronounced.

A boy asks his granny: "Hey, Gran! Have you seen my pills? They were labelled LSD!"
To which granny replies: "Forget them pills, boy! Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"

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Today's Worst Joke comes to us from our old pal Oze Parrot - and dang it feels good typing out the Old Names! - and anyway, I'm sure he won't mind if I put this one here, cuz it is kind of racist... though cute in its own way.

The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.
The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"
The old man grinned and said, "You got to keep the old motor running."
The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman.
She said, "Sir, you are something else. How do you manage it?"
The old man grinned and said, "You gotta keep the old motor running."
A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their third child.
The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, "Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?"
The old man replied, "It's like I've told you before, you gotta keep the old motor running."
The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said: "Well, I guess it's time to change the oil. This one's black."