Sunday, March 13, 2011


For this inaugural edition of the first new Daily Dirt section since Lewd Lexicon, yer old pal Jerky has chosen to highlight the frankly tragic musical efforts of one Ms Rebecca Black. The song in question is titled "It's Friday", and it is rapidly developing a reputation as having the most - and please pardon the unavoidable use of a word that some might find offensive - RETARDED lyrics of all fucking time. There honestly are no words in the English language to accurately convey the levels of atrociousness reached in this most atrocious of all sub-mongoloid musical atrocities ever to be inflicted upon the human ear. It is literally physically painful to sit through this song. As I watched it, a number of questions blasted through my skull. Questions like, "How did this song get beyond the status of idiot lipstick scribblings on the back of a food-court napkin?" and "Why, God? Why?!" No answers were forthcoming. Unfortunately, a quick perusal of Youtube turns up a number of slow-downs, speed-ups and cover versions of Ms Black's sure-to-be-immortal ditty. Furthermore, GawkerTV and other online tributaries of the mainstream are vectoring it to a far wider audience than it otherwise might have earned on its merits. This means a Saturday Night Live parody is probably in the works as I type this, which means "It's Friday" has breached the barricades of mere curious novelty, metastasizing into a full-blown Toxic Meme. Consider yourselves warned! In the meantime, if you feel that you have stumbled across a clear and present danger to the collective meme-pool, please send it along to yer old pal Jerky at I will assess the situation and, if called for, alert the masses.