Just in time for the most pagan of all "Christian" holidays, our old pal Sixlegged (PBUH) regretfully informs us that, yes, it IS possible to make Rebecca Black's execrable Friday song even worse than it already is. According to Sixer: "religious propaganda piggybacking on pop culture is like a quinine and eel asshole casserole." After subjecting himself to the parody in question, yer old pal Jerky would have to concur. But you can go ahead and judge for yourself...
Have you seen this "Dick Slang" dance? Check out this video:
That up there is the original. The creators are, apparently, a bunch of goofballs who've previously tried to launch a different dance craze - one centered on the buttocks instead of the male frontal sex appendage - without success. This one, however - and despite the notable lack of production values - is somehow managing to catch on. In fact, it's already spawned a bunch of imitators and video responses, such as this one, featuring what appears to be a bunch of high-school kids mocking the original, and it's actually kind of amusing...
And then there's this one, which isn't quite as imaginative, but still mostly harmless...
Here's a reaction that's so post-modern, it's offensive to itself! It pretty much covers all the bases and says everything I could have wanted to say about this pseudo-phenomenon in just a few short minutes. It also happens to be the last "Dick Swang/Slang" related cultural artifact that brought yer old pal Jerky any amount of personal pleasure...
After that, it's all downhill for the Dick Swang Dance. This is a meme that's run out of steam even before it really got rolling. Now, could somebody please tell these guys...
For this inaugural edition of the first new Daily Dirt section since Lewd Lexicon, yer old pal Jerky has chosen to highlight the frankly tragic musical efforts of one Ms Rebecca Black. The song in question is titled "It's Friday", and it is rapidly developing a reputation as having the most - and please pardon the unavoidable use of a word that some might find offensive - RETARDED lyrics of all fucking time. There honestly are no words in the English language to accurately convey the levels of atrociousness reached in this most atrocious of all sub-mongoloid musical atrocities ever to be inflicted upon the human ear. It is literally physically painful to sit through this song. As I watched it, a number of questions blasted through my skull. Questions like, "How did this song get beyond the status of idiot lipstick scribblings on the back of a food-court napkin?" and "Why, God? Why?!" No answers were forthcoming. Unfortunately, a quick perusal of Youtube turns up a number of slow-downs, speed-ups and cover versions of Ms Black's sure-to-be-immortal ditty. Furthermore, GawkerTV and other online tributaries of the mainstream are vectoring it to a far wider audience than it otherwise might have earned on its merits. This means a Saturday Night Live parody is probably in the works as I type this, which means "It's Friday" has breached the barricades of mere curious novelty, metastasizing into a full-blown Toxic Meme. Consider yourselves warned! In the meantime, if you feel that you have stumbled across a clear and present danger to the collective meme-pool, please send it along to yer old pal Jerky at jerkyleboeuf@gmail.com. I will assess the situation and, if called for, alert the masses.
