Tuesday, March 22, 2011

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I did it, but it was hell. Pure hell. My feet were on fire. Twice, blisters popped and just about brought me to my knees. But I kept going."

- 400 pound ex-Sumo wrestling national champion Kelly Gneiting is the heaviest human being ever to run (sort of) the Los Angeles Marathon. Actually, he kind of jogged for a while and walked most of the second half, giving him a final finishing time of just under half a day. But, goddamnit, the fat fuck finished the bitch! Way to go, Tubby!

***

"It looks like to me as if shooting these emigrating feral hogs works, maybe we have found a solution to our illegal immigration problem."

- Kansas state senator and Republican Majority Caucus chair Virgil Peck Junior cracks unwise during a House Appropriations Committee hearing on the use of sharpshooters in helicopters to control the state's feral pig problem. His subsequent explanation that "I was just speaking like a southeast Kansas person" is sure to do wonders for southeast Kansas' tourism industry.

1 comment:

  1. Virgil Peck Junior. Wow. Do you think the theme music from Deliverance follows this guy around wherever he goes, like an audible fog of body odor? I think it probably does.

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