You know how most media outlets will choose a Person of the Year for one of their special collector's edition issues with which they hope to attract oodles and spoodles of new paying customers and advertizers? Well, we here at the Daily Dirt Diaspora - by which I mean yer old pal Jerky - have figured something out. If it's profitable on a once-a-year basis, then holy FUCK! I'm gonna be rolling in moolah by instituting a new DAILY feature of the exact same sort! Furthermore, if I always fix it so there's a tie, I can bypass the usual controversy surrounding such "events" AND apply an X2 multiplier bonus score to any and all increases in readership and/or Google AdSense profitability ratios! My logic is impeccable, no?
By the way, did you know that the word "impeccable" is French for "chickens don't like it"? But I digress. Time to announce today's winners! First - but certainly not last - we have a mentally deficient Californian kung-fu sensei and owner, creator, proprietor, founder, administrator, janitor, CEO and BMF of the GNN News Network, mister James Winn Gregory! Here... just take a good, goggle-eyed gander at a few of JW's "greatest hits" as chosen by some of his fans on Youtube:
Next - but certainly not first - we've got the future Mrs. Jerky LeBoeuf, Esq., a little lady who goes by the name of Megan Amram! She wants to be on the hit TV show Glee, and she's ready to do anything to make that happen, as her Youtube audition video, here, clearly displays:
Best of luck, little lady! Have fun on your sure-to-be-vertiginous ride up the Viral Spiral! By the way, in a few days, you're not going to want to look down. And then, in a few weeks, you're not going to want to look back. Keep that in mind, and you'll come out of this just fine. Kiss-kiss!
Congratulations to today's Daily Dirt Diaspora Person(s) of the Day! Keep on chooblin', cool dudes!