Tuesday, March 22, 2011


"I did it, but it was hell. Pure hell. My feet were on fire. Twice, blisters popped and just about brought me to my knees. But I kept going."

- 400 pound ex-Sumo wrestling national champion Kelly Gneiting is the heaviest human being ever to run (sort of) the Los Angeles Marathon. Actually, he kind of jogged for a while and walked most of the second half, giving him a final finishing time of just under half a day. But, goddamnit, the fat fuck finished the bitch! Way to go, Tubby!


"It looks like to me as if shooting these emigrating feral hogs works, maybe we have found a solution to our illegal immigration problem."

- Kansas state senator and Republican Majority Caucus chair Virgil Peck Junior cracks unwise during a House Appropriations Committee hearing on the use of sharpshooters in helicopters to control the state's feral pig problem. His subsequent explanation that "I was just speaking like a southeast Kansas person" is sure to do wonders for southeast Kansas' tourism industry.

1 comment:

  1. Virgil Peck Junior. Wow. Do you think the theme music from Deliverance follows this guy around wherever he goes, like an audible fog of body odor? I think it probably does.