QUOTE OF THE DAY

"They were carrying espionage equipment, reconnaissance equipment, multiple passports and weapons. This is no way to conduct yourself during an uprising. Gaddafi is bringing in thousands of mercenaries to kill us, most are using foreign passports. How do we know who these people are?"

- Senior members of the British government tried to pass this bizarre incident off as "a small British diplomatic team” entering Libya (illegally) to make contact with the rebel National Council. According to a senior member of the council... not quite. So, now that the captured "special forces" team has been released, we're left to ponder... what was really going on here? And what does it say about the West's true motives in Libya?

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"As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity."

- This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student. His assignment was to translate the lyrics to the song One More Chance from the Notorious B.I.G. album Ready to Die from Ebonics to standard English. He scored an A-plus.