DDD EXECUTIVE SUMMARY DEC/30/2016

THE MAIN EVENTS

• American reactions to Putin's response to the Obama administration's decision to enact sanctions and expel a number of Russian diplomats in response to Russian interference in this year's Presidential elections come in two very distinct flavors. On the one hand, you have Putin's increasingly unabashed Trumpnik/alt.right cheerleaders, who see it as nothing less than DEVASTATING 1000+++ Double-KEK PWNAGE!!! Seriously, check out those Tweets and just try to imagine how Kremlin propagandists could possibly lay it on any thicker. Meanwhile, over in the reality-based community, a more nuanced take is developing...
• It is in the role of concerned observer, and not in that of satirical prankster, that I propose the Democratic Party give some serious thought to having Howard Stern run as their candidate in the 2020 Presidential election. His positives are higher than Trump's and his negatives far lower. He's far more intelligent, and his closet doors were flung wide open years ago, so there's no way he could be undone by opposition research. The Republicans would have to rely on going low and attacking his strengths--not unlike when draft-dodging coke-head Dubya Bush "Swiftboated" decorated Vietnam War veteran John Kerry--and that tactic simply would not work on Stern. What's more, I think he would relish the opportunity. And you know what else? I think he has the makings of a pretty good post-modern President. I am, of course, willing to entertain any arguments against in the comments section, below.
• While the apparent outrage over the UN's recent condemnation of Israel's ongoing construction of illegal settlements on Palestinian land might look like much ado about nothing--after all, it's not like it's going to kink the one-way pipeline funneling endless gobs of American taxpayer money to "the Middle East's Only Functioning DemocracyTM"--the Likudnik reaction might actually be signaling a potential sea-change for US/Israel relations. I mean, most of the anti-Semites in Trump's entourage are also ardent Zionists, but with a cohort this volatile, you never can tell.
• Speaking of future candidates for public office, how many of you Yanks were aware that Canada has a Donald Trump of it's very own? Former IT industry "titan" and current TV personality Kevin O'Leary even boasts a business track record that is almost as disastrous as The Donald's! So of course he wants to be Prime Minister of the Great White North. Just what Canada needs... more warmed over copycatting of an All American phenomenon.

A DEEPER DIVE

• Sorry this weekend's Executive Summary is so late, but I wanted to be able to report on who won tonight's UFC 207 championship fight in this, the final edition for the year 2016. So congratulations, Amanda Nunes, on retaining your title belt! I don't really care all that much either way, but I know a lot of other folks do, so kudos!
• Amazon.com has filed a patent for "flying warehouses". They would hover inventory high above areas where corporate metrics would show a high demand, and drones would fly back and forth delivering orders. Insert generic "truly these are the End Times" joke here.
• A lot of you emailed to ask about the art at the top of last Wednesday's Guest Editorial; you know, the image depicting Trump in a beshitted diaper about to knock a globe off a table? Turns out the artist who created the image in question is a Norwegian fellow by the name of Christian Bloom. You can check out more of his artwork (an example is at the top of today's Executive Summary, directly above) at his professional website, which--despite being in Norwegian--is easy on the eyes and not too difficult to navigate. I was particularly impressed by the "kommentarfeltet" section. Enyoy!

SUGGESTED READINGS

1. According to this grim journalistic account by Emily Jane Fox, Trump's Washington DC hotel is already doomed to fail. The piece also serves as a savage review of the facilities, detailing a level of narcissistic hubris that would put Ozymandius to shame. Well worth the read.

2. Charlie Brooker's "year in review" specials are a yearly tradition at Chateau LeBoeuf, where Brooker has enjoyed Favored Nation status since way before Black Mirror, or even before anybody knew what he looks like. For cryin' out loud, I still have a first edition copy of his TV Go Home book after multiple moves, multiple mass sell-offs of personal property, and a couple of serious health crises! And so here's Charlie Brooker's 2016 Wipe, temporarily available on Youtube (if it disappears, just search, someone else will put it up). Enjoy!

3. If you desperately want to understand exactly how the Republican Party and their enablers in the conservative movement paved the way for Donald J. Trump's legally dubious and morally bankrupt election "victory" in November, but you have trouble digesting the vast amount of data generated by the multiple journalistic investigations that helped uncover it, why not try downloading a free, handsomely illustrated, information packed comic book that presents all the most important, key information relating to this national tragedy in a format that is easy to digest, remember, and pass along to others (if you use Gmail, be sure to check your "promotions" folder for the download, cuz that's where the assholes at Google sent mine). While you're doing so, maybe toss a couple shekels in author Greg Palast's beggin' cup. It's not required, but much appreciated. You are a rebel soldier standing against an Evil Axis that is waging a Total War on Reality, so you might as well be armed to the teeth with TRUTH.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Never read the first 10 links on Google."

- Sandro Pasquali, bona fide software genius and a personal friend, thinks it's "sad and amusing" how people crow about Google and Facebook being such great and intelligent tools to find the information you need. He therefore offers up the above strategy, to which I, yer old pal Jerky, offer up a whole-hearted seconding. He also wrote Embraceable You, an essay detailing the real-world factors that go into how Google and Facebook decide what to serve you up next.

DDD EXTRAS

• Read all about non-Trumpnik GOP strategist Rick Wilson's take on the grotesque spectacle of Trump and his toad army kneeling down to Putin's Russia in this epic Tweet storm published on Friday morning right here in the DDD.
• Saddam Hussein is executed on this day in 2006, in one of the ugliest, cowardly, most shameful chapters in a metaphorical book that is clogged to the choking with ugly, cowardly, shameful chapters. Find out more in Friday's Paracultural Calendar, over at the Useless Eater Blog.
• On this day in 1999, the first President of Russia, Boris Yeltsin, resigns from office, leaving Prime Minister Vladimir Putin as the acting President and successor. Read all about it, and more, in Saturday's Paracultural Calendar, over at the Useless Eater Blog.
• Haiti gains its independence on this day in 1804 after the first, and to date only, successful slave rebellion in world history. The Powers That Be have been punishing them ever since. Check out Sunday's Paracultural Calendar, over at the Useless Eater Blog, for more intriguing parapolitical facts.

THE TAKEAWAY

Good riddance to 2016, a truly putrid, Satanic bitch-whore of a year. The only possible way 2017 could be any worse is if we all had to get into a time machine and go back a year, which means we'd have to spend that time experiencing 2016 all over again. Not sure how that'd work, exactly, but anyway, don't drink and drive. But if you have to... drive real slow!