Wednesday, April 13, 2011



Click PLAY on the video below, then keep reading...

The young man in the video above -- a Tea Party activist who, in this video, is training other would-be Tea Party activists -- represents the new breed of foot-soldier in the Conservative Movementarian War against facts, against reason, against honesty, against decency, against common sense and against fair play. 

This war is being waged because all of these attributes and factors tend to work against conservative arguments, beliefs and ideals. The young man all but admits as much in this video. So, what do Conservative Movementarians use instead? Simply listing the opposites of the above-mentioned "Enemies of the Conservative Movement" yields intriguing results. 

Let's see... instead of facts, they've got anecdotes. For instance, say all your arguments for doing away with welfare are proven false by the statistics around the issue. What do you do? Yell loudly about "Cadillac-driving Welfare Queens!!!"

Instead of reason, they've got blind faith. For instance, can't think of a good rational reason to hate gay people? Well then, just point to those parts in the Bible where GOD says to hate gay people! "It's in the BAH-bull!!! Yew ain't gunnah tell me yew don't buh-leev thuh BAH-bull, are yuh?! It's thuh ruh-veeled WURD o' GAWD!!!"

Instead of honesty, they've got lies. Ahem... Rush Limbaugh. Bill O'Reilly. Glenn Beck. Case closed.

Instead of decency, they've got thuggish, bully-boy tactics. It would take a thousand blogs like this one to list just a small fraction of the incidents of conservative violence over the last few decades. And, of course -- just like school-yard bullies and inveterate hypocrites -- they are HUGE whiners, complaining loudly and repeatedly via their community's massive and growing propaganda-spreading media networks whenever someone subjects one of them to the tiniest fraction of the abuse that they heap on their adversaries on a daily basis..

Instead of common sense, they've got bought-and-paid-for "skeptics"

Instead of fair play, they cheat. The 2000 presidential election. The 2002 mid-term election. The 2004 presidential election. The 2006 mid-terms. All either stolen outright or subject to rampant Conservative Movement tampering and cheating.

All of which begs the question... WHY do conservatives do these things? Why do they use these tactics? They do so because, in the fractured model of reality that they've put together in their twisted minds, it is absolutely imperative that they win... at all costs, and by any means necessary. 

Whether it's by rigging elections, blackmailing political opponents or framing them for crimes they didn't commit. Or, hell, even tampering with brake-lines, small planes, or the minds of easily-manipulated loners who can then be MKUltra'd into committing history-changing assassinations on behalf of the New World Order Powers That Be, using techniques evolved from those of their Third Reich predecessors...

But these are all topics for another day. For the time being, I would just like for everyone to watch the video above, and then ask yourself if it doesn't explain a few things that have been going on around here, recently...

-----JOKES OF THE DAY!-----

- Today's first joke comes to us from our old pal Dave...

The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, 'Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!'
'Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!'
'No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!'
'Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!'
Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. 'Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen'
'Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?'
'Why, eat it! Of course. You've never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch!'
Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory.
While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.
'Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!'
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, 'Father!'
'It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch fish!'
'Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?'
Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner. 'I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch', she said.
As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
'What are you doing Sister?'
'Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's Dinner'
'Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!'
'No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish.'
'Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch.'
On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent. The new Bishop said, 'This is great fish, where did you get it?'
'I caught that Son of a Bitch!' proclaimed the proud priest.
'And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!' exclaimed the Sister.
The Friar added, 'And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!'
The new Bishop looked around at each of them. A big smile crept across his face as he said...
'You fuckers are my kind of people!'

- Today's second joke was sent in by N8Possibilities...

Housework is supposed to be a woman's job, but one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table was set. She was astonished!
It turns out that her husband, Ralph, had read an article that said wives who work full-time and also do housework were almost always too tired to have sex. So he decided to do something about it.
The next day, Jenny told her friends at the office all about it.
"We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed it."
"But what about afterward?" asked one of her friends.
"Oh, that. Well... Ralph was too tired!"

- Today's worst joke was submitted by our old pal Zafar...

A man walks into a Glasgow library and says to the librarian, "Excuse me Miss, do ye huv any books on suicide?"
The librarian looks up and says, "Fuck off! Ye'll no bring it back!"

-----THEY SAID IT!-----

"There is a Gold Standard for democracy. In the closest elections, when we have no idea who won because it's so close, what do we do? We hand count the paper ballots in front of the citizenry. In front of the public. In front of the video cameras. So there is no question about who won or lost that election. ... This is the life blood of this nation. If we can't figure out how to run an election in this country, when they walk away, that the winner and loser can both believe that the results are accurate, then we don't have a democracy."
 - A really, truly excellent bit of oratory from our old pal Brad Friedman this week, as he was sitting in for the vacationing Mike Malloy, on the latter's radio show. Brad is one of the most indefatigable voices on behalf of election reform in America, and it's a good thing for us that he's got an excellent radio voice, because I can see him giving Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly and Beck a run for the money in the very near future. You can either read Brad's entire soliloquy in this Bradblog posting, or you can watch the video, right here and now...

-----ON THIS DAY!-----

On April 13 in the year 1953 -- in a development that was a direct outgrowth of the American Establishment’s disastrous decision to recruit the elite of the Nazi scientific and intelligence communities in order to prevent the Soviets from scooping them up to use against us in the then-brewing Cold War -- CIA director Allen Dulles launches the mind-control program MKULTRA. According to a recently de-classified CIA document from May 5th, 1955, MKULTRA was devoted to the discovery of the following materials and methods:

1. Substances which will promote illogical thinking and impulsiveness to the point where the recipient would be discredited in public.

2. Substances which increase the efficiency of mentation and perception.

3. Materials which will prevent or counteract the intoxicating effect of alcohol.

4. Materials which will promote the intoxicating effect of alcohol.

5. Materials which will produce the signs and symptoms of recognized diseases in a reversible way so that they may be used for malingering, etc.

6. Materials which will render the indication of hypnosis easier or otherwise enhance its usefulness.

7. Substances which will enhance the ability of individuals to withstand privation, torture and coercion during interrogation and so-called "brainwashing".

8. Materials and physical methods which will produce amnesia for events preceding and during their use.

9. Physical methods of producing shock and confusion over extended periods of time and capable of surreptitious use.

10. Substances which produce physical disablement such as paralysis of the legs, acute anemia, etc.

11. Substances which will produce "pure" euphoria with no subsequent let-down.

12. Substances which alter personality structure in such a way that the tendency of the recipient to become dependent upon another person is enhanced.

13. A material which will cause mental confusion of such a type that the individual under its influence will find it difficult to maintain a fabrication under questioning.

14. Substances which will lower the ambition and general working efficiency of men when administered in undetectable amounts.

15. Substances which will promote weakness or distortion of the eyesight or hearing faculties, preferably without permanent effects.

16. A knockout pill which can surreptitiously be administered in drinks, food, cigarettes, as an aerosol, etc., which will be safe to use, provide a maximum of amnesia, and be suitable for use by agent types on an ad hoc basis.

17. A material which can be surreptitiously administered by the above routes and which in very small amounts will make it impossible for a man to perform any physical activity whatever.

-----ASK JERKY!-----

Hey Jerky! Have you seen anything about the new movie based on the Ayn Rand novel Atlas Shrugged? It comes out this month.  Signed: Jack Frost

Hey, Jack! Yes, as a matter of fact, I have heard a little bit about the upcoming movie adaptation of Atlas Shrugged. Judging by the trailer, below -- and taking into account the fact that a) I recognize absolutely nobody from the cast and b) there's an online petition urging "Rand Fans" to contact their local movie house to get them to screen the flick -- it looks like this is probably a low-budget, independent movie. It also looks like the producers decided to split the thousand-plus-page novel into two movies instead of just one, which seems wise.

Believe it or not, Jack, despite the fact that my disdain for Ayn Rand and her Randroid fans is almost as intense as my disgust at L.Ron Hubbard and Scientologists  -- I am absolutely ready, willing and able to give this movie a chance, purely as a work of cinema. 

After all, just because you're a scumbag fascist, that doesn't mean you can't produce great works of art... right? I count some absolute, incontrovertible monsters among my favorite stylists of prose and verse. Besides, I'm actually kind of curious to see how modern film-makers will approach the clotted verbiage and clunking metaphors of Rand's novel. Who knows? We might end up with a Mystery Science Theater 3000-worthy classic, like director King Vidor's fucking hilarious 1949 film of Rand's earlier work, The Fountainhead!

Here's the trailer. What do YOU guys think?


  1. Good job as always, Jerky. This is my first post on the diaspora, but we go back to the early days of the dirt. Glad to have you back. As far as number four on that list goes, though (find materials that promote the intoxicating effects of alcohol), I've already discovered a number of those. Does that make me as useful as a Nazi scientist? How come I can't get a government job?

  2. That was an awful book, by an awful person. When somebody starts spouting off about it, ask them if they have actually READ the entire book. William Buckley couldn't do it. I finally finished it when I was stuck on a boat for 2 weeks with nothing else to read. I was almost finished when Ayn Rand appeared on the Phil Donahue show. What a vile woman.

  3. Yup. She was vile, alright. But being vile doesn't necessarily mean you can't be a good writer (Celine, De Sade, Lautreamont, Ezra Pound, etc).

    In this case however, Rand is both vile AND a shit writer. Oh well.

  4. Maybe it's too early in the morning, maybe I haven't read the book, but for the life of me I can't tell what the movie's about from watching the trailer. I know if must be exciting if there's a fast train -- the tense music tells us so.

  5. As for the tea party guy. I don't know what to think. He's casting his votes for and against certain ideas through a medium that others can see -- granted he is encouraging mindlessness, but I don't think I have a moral problem with his methods. Now, returning to our friend Cass Sunstein who wants to "cognitively infiltrate" these groups (and worse), if the group is programmed into mindlessness, I don't know that there is enough going on cognitively to infiltrate. Mindful people can be reasoned with, but if mindlessness (i.e. 1-star clicking, etc.)is the order of the day, I don't see how cognitive tactics and/or reason could work to expose people to new ideas.

  6. Yes nice diatribe. Then again, we all saw this coming (didn't we). These people have had their ideals beaten to snot by what amounts to a rather small portion of the population. For the last maybe 30 years "we" have run the world. We are mostly educated, urbanized, humanists who lack a discernable moral compass (which is fine actually). We are driven by special interest groups and a sense of fair play. We have revolutionized our own society through force of will (do not kid yourself into believing it was force of argument, all arguments end in "because that is how it is"). We have our own idiot spokespeople who blast our messages throughout the media landscape. We took control of the language of debate and just as they say "It's thuh ruh-veeled WURD o' GAWD!" we say "It is FAIR and RIGHT and LOGICAL". Personally, I think we have the better platform but I certainly can understand the backlash. It is not surprizing and it is going to get worse. A LOT of people are tired of living by our rules. Their leaders are tired of paying lip-service to the left of centre. They know in their hearts what is right while we only know it in our minds (or pretend to because that better supports are arguments). They are, in fact, no different than we are and are reacting the same way we would if we were forced to live under a regime created to their standards (a scary place). They are frightened and tired of being bossed around. Daily they grow more dispossessed and more distant from the society in which they are forced to reside. It is ranking books without reading them now and will be terrorism soon enough. I do not think there is much that can be done about it. "Kill them all" would be against our "religion" (but not against theirs). It will just keep being a see saw struggle.

  7. I certainly don't disagree with most of what you say here, Nick. Glad to see you posting here, by the way. Have you read The Dialectic of Enlightenment by Horkheimer/Adorno? Or Voltaire's Bastards, by JR Saul? They posit thoughts that are somewhat along the lines you're addressing.