SKIP AND THE DONALD ~ A GUEST EDITORIAL

Love this contribution from long-time reader Bob! Excellent stuff, Bob; timely and true! - Jerky

Back when I was nineteen years old, I worked with a kid named Skip. Skip and I were the same age and hit it off really well since we were both aspiring musicians and fairly wild and crazy. 

One day, Skip showed up at work with a black eye, a busted lip and bruises all over his face. I was horrified. I asked him what in the world happened. He told me that he had had an altercation with another guy in a McDonald's parking lot the night before. 

Now, Skip was a pretty big guy. People didn't pick fights with him. He was an imposing dude. Turns out, Skip had been fooling around with the other guy's girlfriend. The other guy found out about it and confronted Skip. Skip told me he listened to the guy about as long as he could and finally hauled off and punched him in an attempt to shut down the verbal abuse. He had done that before in other hostile situations and it worked great. 

Skip said he immediately heard a bunch of car doors opening and slamming. He turned around to see just about every friend the punched out guy had (several carloads worth), running toward him...and the fight was on. 

Skip told me he tried to defend himself, but that every time he opened his eyes, all he could see was fists coming at him. The beating continued for what seemed like an eternity until it was broken up by bystanders. 

And so, the big, imposing dude, who pretty much had his way with everyone, got a severe ass whipping, on a Sunday night, in a McDonald's parking lot, in Enfield CT. 

Donald Trump reminds me of Skip. He's a big, rich, imposing guy who has pretty much had his way his entire life. His money and his bodyguards have protected him and kept him safe all his life. But, there are people in the world who don't care how much money he has and people against whom his bodyguards cannot protect him. 

Since he's gotten to Washington, he's been insulting numerous people and picking fights with many. Now, he has metaphorically punched James Comey in the face with a thinly veiled threat in front of the entire world. 

HEY DUDE! Comey has friends...lots of friends, who have skills that you don't want to know about. Do you think you're doing an adequate job of fending off the metaphorical punches that have been coming your way since you arrived at the White House? Well, it's about to get worse...way worse.

Your strong-armed, bullying, godfather tactics are about to fail you miserably. You really have no idea the punishment the FBI, the congressional investigation committees and the press is about to inflict upon you. 

And, guess what? You, like Skip, will deserve it. 

Cheers!

Bob Cignoni

LOOK AT WHAT THIS F%CKING PIECE OF SH&T WROTE...

FUCKING LOOK AT IT!

SORRY FOR BEING AWAY, FOLKS

I'm just checking in now to share a video y'all might like, and also to remark upon sort-of-President Trump's bombshell, out-of-nowhere termination of FBI director James Comey.

Here's today's Majority Report, which is jam-packed with current events goodness.

Now, as for Trump's Nixonian dumping of the man who is in the middle of investigating him, his administration, his business organization, and his creepy, slimeball family over their increasingly obvious and undeniable ties to Putin's Russia, in particular re their collusion with same during the 2016 election campaign against Hillary Clinton... what can one say, except to point out that there appears to be no limit to the depths to which this thuggish goon squad will sink?

Hopefully, I'll have more for you soon. In the meantime, it seems to me as though the world has taken a turn, and the so-called independent media is some of the most compromised, dishonest media out there. This is particularly true on the Right, where almost every single voice is bought and paid for, which makes their constant shrieking about George Soros all the more hypocritical and self-exposing. As it has ever been, conservative movementarians are screaming into a mirror. Much better to just watch the reporting on CNN and MSNBC, and read the New York Times and the Washington Post, and take it with a grain of salt. The amount of salt needed to make the information presented by FOX News--not to mention Breitbart, Daily Caller, InfoWars and the rest of that Satanic menagerie of alt-right outlets--is beyond toxic to the average human.

Hold on tight, folks. Shit is about to get really dark, and really real.

TRUMP SWEATING THE RUSSIA THING

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: THE FIRST 100 DAYS

EMOLUMENTS? SHMEMOLUMENTS! SHOW TRUMP THE MONEY!

So let's see.

Sort-of-President Donald Trump's most trusted White House adviser is none other than Ivanka Trump.

Ivanka Trump, who also happens to be the sort-of-President's daughter, is currently modeling in an advertisement (see above) for that self-same sort-of-President's latest sure-to-be-another-world-class-failure, a namesake tower block in Manila. 

Manila, which is the capital city of the Philippines. 

The Philippines, where the population is currently enjoying the despotic rule of their very own brain-damaged narcissistic President, a drug-addicted psychopath named Rodrigo Duterte. 

Rodrigo Duterte, who just got invited to the White House by the sort-of-President of the United States of America.

Yer old pal Jerky's mind can't help but wander back to the early 1980's, when a certain action/adventure television show gifted us with the perfect slogan to summarize all of the above information... at least from sort-of-President Trump's perspective:

Finally, speaking of slogans, Trump Tower Manila's slogan, which you can see on the billboard, above, is the predictably posh "Live Exquisitely". This, however, was not the first choice presented by the ad agency creatives. In fact, it was the third. Investors thought that the first two slogans they were presented with--"Live Nepotistically" and "Live Incestuously"--might be just a wee bit "on the nose job" for their target demographic's tastes.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE...

Just another election stolen by Republicans and their cohorts in the voting machine industry.

ALEX JONES: EXPOSED!

Thanks in part to a custody battle that the Texas loudmouth is going through with his soon-to-be (((ex-wife)))--and you better believe that triple-bracket status is going to come into play at some point--the single biggest name in full-spectrum bullshit delivery is going to have to admit that InfoWars is to journalism what Worldwide Wrestling Entertainment is to actual, competitive sports.

So, if wrasslers are engaged in "sports entertainment", as that drug addled pervert Vince McMahon had to admit a few years back in order to avoid going to jail, what will Alex Jones be calling his unique brand of faux journalism? "Facts entertainment" is still too inaccurate and insufficiently distancing.

If y'all have any suggestions, kindly post them in the comments section, below!

THE TALE OF (ANOTHER) TAPE

THIS IMAGE OF PUTIN IN DRAG IS ILLEGAL IN RUSSIA

So, for Pete's sake, do NOT go spreading it around everywhere you go!

MEDIAVORE CROSS-POST ~ NEW MST3K EPISODES HAVE ARRIVED AT NETFLIX!

Much like the zoster virus--which covers you in unsightly chicken pox for a while before going dormant and laying in wait for years, only to reemerge when you least expect it, stronger and more vicious than ever, covering you in unsightly (and painful!) shingles--the greatest achievement in the history of humor-based televised audio/visual entertainment is back!

I am referring, of course, to Mystery Science Theater 3000, Eden Prairie Minnesota's own little cow-town puppet show made good.

MST3K, as we fans like to call it, premiered on a tiny UHF station in 1988 before becoming one of early cable TV's most critically acclaimed cult sensations. For ten years, it channel-hopped from The Comedy Channel/Comedy Central to the Sci-Fi Channel, producing nearly 200 full length episodes before apparently closing up shop for good in 1999.

Too much has already been written about the phenomenon that is MST3K for me to bother going over it all again for you now. The show's controversially huge Wikipedia entry goes into obsessive detail about everything from Joel Hodgson conceiving it as a way to help breathe comedic life into KTMA's hopelessly dated film catalog, to all the various cast switcheroos, to the show's ill-fated foray into making "cinema", to all the post-MST3K projects (like Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax), to the record-breaking Kickstarter revival that helped bring a full 11th season of the show to Netflix nearly 20 years after the final Sci-Fi Channel episode... so if you're one of those sad, unsullied fools still in need of a refresher course to remind you why this reboot is such a big freaking deal, you can always refer to that.

As for the rest of you--those who share in your humble blogger's absolute and unquestioning adoration of Mystery Science Theater 3000 as entertainment, yes, but also as a potentially powerful paradigm for a positive and progressive postmodernism--you need only know this: the first 14 episodes of the 11th season of MST3K all premiered on Netflix today, April 14th, 2017, one day before your humble blogger's 47th birthday... and you'll have to forgive me for getting more than a little mistie about the whole deal.

And so, as I hunker down to watch the first fresh episode of my favorite TV show of all time since watching the "lost" episode, featuring the film Merlin's Mystical Shoppe of Wonders, which aired on September 12, 1999, I promise to bring you updates, commentary, and bullet reviews for each episode. Watch for them to start appearing here, at the Mediavore, and also at my home base blog, the Daily Dirt Diaspora, seeing as I've been neglecting my duties there of late, due to the unfortunate combination of a paying graphics gig and the fact that Trump's increasingly unhinged behavior has got me so spooked I don't even want to comment on his shenanigans anymore for fear he might read something I wrote and launch nukes at Grenada or some other crazy shit like that.

Keep watching this space! HUZZAH!

THE CONNECTIONS: A VISUAL GUIDE

GREAT STUFF THIS MAJORITY REPORT! JARED KUSHNER... WTF?!

AN INFO-GRAPHIC TWEET FROM THE ANTI-TRUMP

The Anti-Trump posts a lot of great, share-worthy stuff on her Twitter account, which you should totally be subscribed to by now if you aren't. 

CASUAL FRIDAYS WITH THE MAJORITY REPORT

Two hours and forty-five minutes into this edition of my favorite daily political chat-fest, Sam and his pals make mince-meat out of a pseudo-mongo alt.right Bell-Curvista, and it's definitely worth the drive to Acton!