PARAPOLITICAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 8

Hard Hat Riot of 1970

On this day in 1886, pharmacist John Styth Pemberton first sells a carbonated beverage named Coca-Cola as a patent medicine in his store. Ninety-nine years later, on this day in 1985, the Coca-Cola Company introduces New Coke in one of the most unsuccessful marketing moves of all time... or was it? To this day, rumors persist that the introduction of "New Coke" was nothing more than a diversionary ploy, giving the company a chance to switch out the cane sugar in the classic Coca-Cola recipe for the much cheaper alternative, high fructose corn syrup... which means the classic recipe really did die a sorry death almost 30 years ago. Oh well, at least we "originalists" still have Mexican Coke!

On this day in 1891, Russian-born author, mystic and spear-point of the Theosophical movement Helena Petrovna Blavatsky passes away at the tender age of sixty. In her own time, few would have hazarded a guess as to the tremendous impact her life and work would have on the century to come.

Born on this day in 1911, blues-man Robert Johnson. At some point during his early twenties, Johnson allegedly sold his soul to Satan in exchange for musical virtuosity. With a grand total of twenty-nine songs recorded during a grand total of two sessions, this Mississippi native became the progenitor - via the young working class white men of England who so loved his stuff - of the Blues.  

Thomas Pynchon, one of America's greatest post-war novelists and one of the handful of world-class writers with bona-fide parapolitical credibility, was born in Long Island on this day in 1937. Of his major works, V. is an impressive arrival, The Crying of Lot 49 is a stone hoot, Gravity's Rainbow is an encyclopaedic, mind-bending masterpiece, Vineland is a hippy's delight, Mason & Dixon defies categorization, Against the Day remains mostly unread and Inherent Vice is like The Big Lebowski meets... well... Thomas Pynchon! He remains the only person to ever have a Pulitzer Prize revoked after The Powers That Be decided their panel of judges should never have rewarded such an "unreadable" and "obscene" work of literature. This, of course, was the highest possible compliment those decrepit old fools could have paid it.

On this day in 1970, one of the strangest confrontations in American post-war history takes place in Lower Manhattan when roughly 200 construction workers, allegedly acting on orders from the AFL-CIO, attack a thousand demonstrators protesting the Kent State shootings, the invasion of Cambodia and the Vietnam War. Seventy people are injured and six arrested in the fracas, which was dubbed the Hard Hat Riot by the media of the day. The incident served as a stark underline to the deep, essentially unbridgeable divisions between the Old Left, which was mostly labor-oriented, and the New Left, which focused more intensely on identity politics. This also happens to be one of the main themes in the aforementioned Thomas Pynchon novel Vineland.

On this day in 1980, the World Health Organization announces that the deadly disease of smallpox has been wiped off the face of the Earth… except for a few large boxes of the stuff stored at various bio-weapon labs in the USA and elsewhere, of course.

PARAPOLITICAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 7

On this day in 1794, French Revolutionary Robespierre proposes that the new state religion of the French First Republic be the Illuminati-inspired "Cult of the Supreme Being". It fails to catch on.

On this day in the year 1824, composer Ludwig von Beethoven's magnificent 9th (and final) Symphony - one of the only world-historic pieces of music - is performed for first time in front of an audience. The vocal section uses Freidrich Schiller's poem Ode To Joy, which is jam-packed with esoteric allusions that are ripe for exploitation as an expression of the beauties and charms of collectivism, which makes its eventual use as the "national anthem" of the European Union both amusing and somewhat troubling. Stanley Kubrick proved that he understood the essential duality of this piece of music - as well as the double-edged nature of genius in general - by highlighting it in an incredibly ironic way in his satirical sf masterpiece Clockwork Orange. 

On this day in 1896, one of the first and most prolific and inventive serial killers of all time is put to death for only a handful of the crimes he committed over a lifetime of almost unbelievable wickedness. His name was Herman Webster Mudgett, alias Doctor Henry Howard Holmes, and he built his own private "Murder Castle" in Chicago during the 1893 World Columbian Exposition - itself an event rife with parapolitical and paracultural over-and-undertones.

On this day in 1952, the concept of the integrated circuit, also known as the "monolithic integrated circuit" and the "microchip" - the basis for all modern computing technology - is first presented to the public by Geoffrey W.A. Dummer. Culturally, economically and historically, it's a game-changer on pretty much every imaginable level.

On this day in 1999, the British Antarctic Survey reports that the sky fell by no less than five miles over the preceding forty year period, as the upper limit of the ionosphere - beyond which lies the vacuum of space - collapsed from 190 to 185 miles altitude. Researchers at the time pointed to this startling phenomenon as "an important environmental warning sign," but yer old pal Jerky hasn't heard any more about it since the report was released. What gives?!

On this day in 2004, in one of the most heinous of many heinous landmarks that we collectively had to endure in the 'naughties, the sadistic and brutal beheading of American businessman Nick Berg is recorded on videotape and released on the Internet for all the world to see. I present to you an editorial that I wrote on the subject of the Berg conspiracy theories, reprinted now at my Useless Eater blog for archival purposes. Also reprinted is one of my best editorials (if I do say so myself), titled The Paradox of Polar Bears. It also touches on Berg's murder, but for much different reasons. I'd suggest you "enjoy", but somehow that just doesn't seem right in this case.

PARAPOLITICAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 6

Been a long time since... that horrifying airship crash.

On this day in 1937, the Hindenburg zeppelin bursts into flames upon landing at a Lakehurst, New Jersey air-field, killing 36 of the 97 passengers on board. NBC Radio's Herbert Morrison witnesses the horrifying calamity and is overcome with emotion during a live, coast-to-coast radio broadcast during which he utters the infamous phrase: "Oh, the humanity!"  Controversy still surrounds many aspects of the Hindenburg disaster.

On this day in 1861, the city of Richmond, Virginia is declared the capital of the Confederate States of America, a mere 108 miles south of Washington DC. Nowadays, neo-Confederates would probably choose some city in Texas... pretty much anywhere but Austin, I suspect.

On this day in 1882, the United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act... a law which does exactly what its name implies, which is refreshingly candid when compared to the Orwellian New-speak nightmares of T.H.E.P.A.T.R.I.O.T.A.C.T. and No Child Left Behind. Originally intended to exclude Chinese "skilled and unskilled laborers employed in mining" from entering the country for ten years (under penalty of imprisonment and deportation), the law was not repealed until 1943... over 60 years later. 

On this day in 1889, the Eiffel Tower is officially opened to the public at the Universal Exposition in Paris, France. At 1,050 feet, it was the tallest man-made structure in the world, surpassing the Washington Monument, which - at 555 feet - had only held the record for five years. In contrast, the Eiffel Tower would remain the tallest man-made structure on the planet for over 40 years, until the Chrysler Building surpassed it in 1930.

On this day in 1954, Roger Bannister becomes the first person to do what would eventually become a commonplace, but which physicians and scientists at the time had deemed impossible... he runs a mile in under four minutes' time.

On this day in 1994, after  Former Arkansas state worker / nude model / Country singer / late-night infomercial "psychic" Paula Jones files a lawsuit against President Bill Clinton alleging that he had "dropped trou" and showed her his pecker back in 1991 when he was still Governor of Arkansas. Of course, it didn't hurt any that ultra-right-wing proto-fascist newspaper publisher / billionaire / Clinton-hater / murderer (?) Richard Mellon Scaife's so-called Arkansas Project had essentially bribed her into launching her suit, and bankrolled the entire enterprise from its sketchy beginnings to its silly, sordid end. 

On this day in 1996, The body of former CIA director William Colby is found washed up on a riverbank in southern Maryland, eight days after he "disappeared". Quite a bit of background is necessary to begin to grasp the enigma that is the life and death of William Colby. 

On this day in 2002, anti-Islam, anti-immigration, openly homosexual Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn is gunned down by "animal rights activist" Volkert Van der Graff, who decided to assassinate Fortuyn to prevent him from "scapegoating the weaker members of society."

Celebrating parapolitical birthdays on this day are Maximilien Robespierre (1758), French Revolutionary and prime figure in The Terror; father of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud (1856) and multimedia wunderkind  and psychological warfare pioneer Orson Welles (1915).

SO I SAW THE AVENGERS TONIGHT...

Gotta say, I was a little bit underwhelmed. The emotional spectrum was more limited than I expected it to be, a couple of the performances were kind of off (for a seasoned assassin, Scarlett Johansen sure was easily rattled, and it felt to me like Sam Jackson was phoning it in), the combat in the invasion scenes was somewhat repetitive and the alien invaders - zooming around Manhattan on their ridiculous "Sky-doo" cloud-runners while randomly pew-pewing their lasers at the scenery - weren't particularly threatening.

But what really disappointed me were some of the overly familiar story elements. For instance, how many more Marvel movies are going to end with the fate of the world hanging by a thread as our heroes race to destroy or shut down some conspicuously-located, force-field-protected, noisy, twirly-geared magical mystery machine? And why are these machines always powered by that increasingly familiar all-purpose wavy-blue Marvel "power glow"? Fantastic Four, Thor, Captain America... by the end, with all that business on the roof of Stark Tower, it felt like I was having a flashback to the finale of the first X-Men movie. And so I'm saddened to say that the "whole" was definitely not equal to the sum of the accumulated parts.

But oh, those parts... those spectacular and incredibly crowd-pleasing PARTS!!!

To start with, not all the performances were disappointing. Huddelston was great as Loki - a truly dastardly sleaze-ball of a villain, taken to the cosmic scale this time around. Downey Jr's lovable rogue persona still brings home the bacon IMNSHO, and the writers give him some great zingers. Hemsworth, Evans and Ruffalo are all very good reprising their roles. Director Joss Whedon did a decent job of doling out screen time fairly and incorporating elements from the earlier franchise flicks in a relatively seamless and unobtrusive (dare I say 'organic'?) way. Also, the rumors about the Hulk stealing the show are true. They really ladled on the awesome-sauce for his scenes. No spoilers here, but there are three or four scenes with the not-so-jolly green giant that had the sell-out audience literally whooping, cheering and applauding. I would have paid 13 bucks just to see those Hulk scenes.

So I guess the bottom line is that I liked it. I enjoyed myself, and pretty much everybody in the theater with me walked out with smiles on their faces, discussing their favorite scenes or talking about the post-credits stinger. And most of the talk about the post-credits stinger boiled down to: "Who the Hell was that supposed to be in the post-credits stinger?" For those of us who knew immediately who the Hell it was, there was general fan-boy gushing and an almost giddy disbelief. Don't worry, I'm not going to spoil it for you. However, I will say that if this stinger pays off the way it could, I might be willing to forgive Marvel the Wolverine movie... but not Daredevil. Nothing will ever make up for that crime against cinema.

And that's my midnight ramble! I'll have some interesting new stuff up tomorrow, both here and at the Useless Eater Blog, but for now, I'm off to dream some super-hero dreams! Good night... and may Godzilla bless!

- YOPJ

PARAPOLITICAL CALENDAR - MAY 5

Napoleon in Egypt

On this day in 1260, the cunning Kublai Khan seizes control of the vast Mongol Empire, which extends from the Black Sea all the way to the Pacific coast, including most of China, half the Middle East and all of Central Asia. And yet he still made time to be a good host to explorer Marco Polo... for over seventeen years!

Two of the most influential philosophers of all time are born on this day. First, in 1813, Christian existentialist Soren Kierkegaard is born in Denmark. The father of communism, Karl Marx, is born in Germany, five years later in 1818.

On this day in 1821, Emperor Napoleon I dies in exile on the island of Saint Helena in the South Atlantic. To this day, he remains one of the most influential World Historic figures of all time, leaving behind a legal, social, military and cultural legacy that simply cannot be over-stated. To teach one's self about the life of Napoleon Bonaparte is to teach one's self the foundational history of the Modern world.

On this day in 1920, police arrest Italian-born anarchists Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti for allegedly murdering two men during a botched bank robbery in Braintree, Massachusetts. Their subsequent trials, appeals and executions are the focal-point of one of the biggest justice-related brou-ha-ha's in the history of the USA. I'm talking scores-of-people-dying-in-revenge-bombings big. It made the reaction to the Rodney King verdict look tame by comparison.

On this day in 1925, biology teacher John Scopes is arrested for teaching evolutionary theory to his students in Dayton, Tennessee. This leads to the Scopes Monkey Trial, widely considered one of the most controversial and impactful judicial exhibitions (if not decisions) of the 20th century. What few people know is that the whole thing was a set-up from the start.

On this day in 1981, Irish activist Bobby Sands dies in the Long Kesh prison hospital after a 66 day  hunger-strike. He was 27 years old.

The videogame Wolfenstein 3D, the first-ever "first-person shooter", is released on this day in 1992, leading inexorably to all kinds of craziness.

PARAPOLITICAL CALENDAR - MAY 4

On this day in 1493, Pope Alexander VI divides the New World between Spain and Portugal along the Line of Demarcation, thereby initiating a series of events that would eventually lead to some of the world's most incredibly hostile soccer rivalries.

On this day in 1855, adventurer William Walker sets off from San Francisco with about 60 men and a plan to conquer the Central American nation of Nicaragua. This time, contrary to his numerous previous attempts, he actually succeeds! Without too much violence, Walker installs himself as "President of the Republic of Nicaragua." His rule lasted for less than two years, at which point his junta was defeated by a coalition of Central American militias. Walker was eventually executed in Honduras in 1860.

On this day in 1904, the United States begins construction of the Panama Canal, a civil engineering project that would turn out to be a global game-changer, both politically and economically.

On this day in 1961, the first 13 Freedom Riders begin their bus trip through the American South, in an effort to end segregation of the public transportation system. After training in non-violent civil disobedience techniques, black and white volunteers sit next to each other as they travel by bus through the Deep South. In Anniston, Alabama, one bus is destroyed, and riders on another are attacked by men armed with clubs, bricks, iron pipes and knives. In response to these acts of violence, Attorney General Robert Kennedy sends DOJ official John Seigenthaler to accompany the Freedom Riders. In Birmingham, the passengers are greeted by the Ku Klux Klan, and further acts of violence. At Montgomery, the state capital, a white mob beats the riders with chains and ax handles. When local authorities make it clear that they will make no effort to protect the Riders, President John F. Kennedy sends federal marshals from the North to do the job. Despite the escalating violence, over a thousand volunteers take part in Freedom Rides during the ensuing months.

On this day in 1970, at Ohio's Kent State University, thirteen seconds of rifle fire by a contingent of 28 National Guardsmen leaves four students (Allison Krause,Jeffrey Miller, Sandra Scheuer, and William Schroeder) dead, one permanently paralyzed, and eight others wounded. A "special" state grand jury exonerates the Guardsmen, but indicts 25 students for a variety of offenses such as bleeding on public property, excessive weeping, and attempting to avoid being shot.

On this day in 1979, Margaret Thatcher becomes the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

On this day in 1989, former White House aide Oliver North is convicted of three crimes and acquitted of nine other charges in connection with the Iran-Contra Affair, still one of the most poorly understood scandals in recent American history. These convictions are later overturned on appeal.

On this day in 1994, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin signs a peace accord with PLO leader Yasser Arafat regarding Palestinian autonomy granting self-rule in the Gaza Strip and Jericho. Consequently, he would soon become the victim of the most transparently conspiratorial political assassination in the history of Mideast politics. And brother, that is saying something.

On this day in 1998, Theodore "Unabomber" Kaczynski is sentenced to four life sentences (plus 30 years) by a California court after accepting a plea agreement which spares him from the death penalty. Check out this Useless Eater Blog post from a few days back for a detailed look at the Unabomber case, and its connections to the creation of the Internet, the spread of LSD across college campuses in the 60's, the rise of Game Theory and the Cybernetic Model of mind-control, among many, many other things.

PARAPOLITICAL CALENDAR - MAY 3

On this day in 1469, Italian historian and political thinker Niccolò Machiavelli - author of The Prince and favorite philosopher of neoconservative Godfather Leo Strauss - is born.

On this day in 1616, prolifically productive wordsmith William Shakespeare is alleged to have died, although some people claim he passed away on April 23, while others claim he never even existed, at all.

On this day in 1802, America's capital city, Washington, D.C. is incorporated, featuring a distinctly diabolical layout, courtesy of Master Mason and civic planner Pierre Charles L'Enfante. Quite disturbing that the old esoteric saying "as above, so below" should apply to road maps as well as it does to... other things.

On this day in 1938, the Vatican officially recognizes Generalissimo Francisco Franco's government in Spain. In the forty years between his inauguration and the end of his murderous, fascist reign in the 1970's, it was never suggested that perhaps it might be a good idea to deny Franco the right to receive Holy Communion, as a symbolic show of disapproval for his brutal tactics. Come to think of it, they never said "peep" to Mussolini, either. American Democratic politicians, on the other hand...

 On this day in 1963, the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior delivers his "I have a dream" speech. Meanwhile, in Birmingham, Alabama, the police force there decide to confront the Birmingham campaign protesters with fire-hoses, billy-clubs and vicious attack dogs. That night, newscasts around the world are filled with King's powerful oratory juxtaposed with scenes of brutal and violent police suppression.

CONSPIRACY CALENDAR FOR MAY 2

ON MAY 2 IN PARAPOLITICAL HISTORY!

On this day in 1536, England's Queen Anne Boleyn - consort to King Henry VIII (who destroyed the Catholic Church in England just to be with her), and mother of the woman who would go on to become the hugely influential Queen Elizabeth I (last of England's Tudor royals) - is arrested and imprisoned in the Tower of London on charges of adultery, incest, treason and witchcraft. She would be found guilty of all charges and beheaded 19 days later. Ah... fickle fate!

On this day in 1670, King Charles II of England grants a permanent charter to the Hudson's Bay Company to open up the fur trade in North America. That's right... a permanent charter. In fact, there's a whole whack of information about Hudson's Bay Co. that seems ripe for parapolitical exploration.

On this day in 1808, the people of Madrid rise up in rebellion against French occupation, prompting Goya to memorialize the event in his painting The Second of May 1808.

On this day in 1816, German/Belgian royal Léopold de Saxe-Coburg marries Princess Charlotte Augusta of Wales, thus initiating the "royal" Saxe-Coburg Gotha bloodline - name-changed to "Windsor" in England around the time of the Great War, due to anti-German sentiment - that has ruled much of the "free" world over the last century-and-a-half.

On this day in 1933, Adolf Hitler bans trade unions in Germany.

On this day, not one but two ultra-right-wing American lunatics kick the bucket. In 1957, Senator Joe McCarthy, of Red Scare II infamy, dies of multiple health problems exacerbated by alcohol and general mean-spiritedness. In 1972, J. Edgar Hoover - whose abuses of power make Joe McCarthy's seem almost adorable by comparison - dies when his own shriveled black heart finally realizes exactly the type of vile creature its beats had helped to sustain over the years before giving up in disgust. Oh, and by the way... from Little Rock to organized crime, he also pretty much sucked at his job.

On this day in 1998, the European Central Bank is founded in Brussels in order to define and execute the European Union's monetary policy. So far, it seems to be working out just fine.

On this day in 2000, President Bill Clinton announces that super-accurate GPS technology would no longer be restricted to the United States military, paving the way for some very interesting and useful consumer technology... as well as the allowing for the propagation of a technology that will eventually facilitate the more perfect tracking of pretty much every single citizen in our rapidly evolving Surveillance State.

And, finally, on this day in 2011, Americans celebrate “Mission Accomplished Day – Part II” when President Barack Obama announces that Osama bin Laden, the evil genius mastermind behind the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, had been found, then killed, in full-throttle action-movie style by SEAL Team Six in Abbottabad, Pakistan! Of course, he couldn't show us Osama's corpse, because it was dumped at sea in an undisclosed location, in accordance with some kind of Muslim religious doctrine that nobody's ever heard of before. And of course, they couldn't show us any photographic evidence of his death, because that would have been disrespectful to one of the worst alleged mass-murderers in the history of mass-murder... right? I mean, it's not like there's anything fishy about all this... right? Right?!

ON THIS DAY IN PARAPOLITICAL HISTORY!

MAY 1

The first day in the month of May is celebrated as May Day – also known as International Workers’ Day – almost everywhere in the world, with the most glaring exception being the nation whose citizens’ blood fertilized the soil of its inception: the United States of America.

First suggested at the first congress of the world socialist Second International in 1889, May Day was meant to commemorate Chicago’s infamous Haymarket Massacre of three years prior, in which dozens of labour demonstrators were gunned down by police after one of them allegedly threw a dynamite bomb.

The holiday was formally recognized as an annual event at the International's second congress in 1891. Three years later, following a particularly nasty Wall Street panic, the May Day Riots took place in Cleveland, OH. Ten years later, in 1904, the International Socialist Conference meeting in Amsterdam called on "all Social Democratic Party organizations and trade unions of all countries to demonstrate energetically on May First for the legal establishment of the 8-hour day, for the class demands of the proletariat, and for universal peace."

Considering its origins and history, it shouldn't be too surprising that The Powers That Be have never had much love for May Day. Right-wing governments, invariably favoring Capital over Labour, have historically downplayed the holiday’s significance, often celebrating “Labour/Labor Day” on another day – for instance, as in the USA and Canada, on the first Monday of September.

Unfortunately, simply shifting the holiday to a different spot on the calendar left folks with nothing to celebrate on the first day of May. The solution? How about the one-two punch of Law Day and Loyalty Day? Yes, that’s right, in the late 50’s, Republican President Dwight “Ike” Eisenhower and his Republican-led Congress created these two (count’em!) brand spanking new holidays to take people’s minds off the central role labor has played in human progress over the years!

Of course, the above covers the “Red Root” (Labour) version of May Day. There exists another, “Green Root” (Pagan) version of the holiday, related to the sex-heavy Celtic festival of Beltane and the somewhat less sexy Germanic festival of Walpurgis Night (which is named after a Saint, after all). Some of the more hard-core versions of this European celebration were done away with after Christianization, but surviving traditions usually involve dancing around a Maypole – representative of either a Sacred Tree or a giant phallus, depending on who you ask – and other fertility-related activities, such as presenting gifts of flowers to loved ones. Beltane, specifically, involves ritual purification through fire, and if you've seen the The Wicker Man (1973), you already know how much fun that can be.

ALSO ON THIS DAY

On this day in 1776, a Jesuit-trained Bavarian philosopher by the name of Adam Weishaupt adopts the name “Spartacus” and establishes a secret society which he dubs the “Order of Perfectibilists”, more popularly known as the Illuminati. Both Weishaupt and his long-defunct organization remain as poorly understood today as they were by their contemporaries, a point underscored by the fact that Thomas Jefferson counted himself an unabashed admirer.

On this day in 1863, the Confederate Congress passes a resolution declaring no Black Union soldiers may be taken prisoner. Instead, all Black soldiers are to be shot on sight. And yet, some people still try to make believe the Civil War was about "state's rights," and had nothing to do with the institution of slavery. Go figure!

On this day in 1915, the RMS Lusitania departs from New York City for her 222nd – and final – crossing of the Atlantic. Six days later, a torpedo launched from a German submarine would sink her off the coast of Ireland, killing twelve hundred. 128 of the dead were Americans, which caused an about-face in the US population’s doggedly non-interventionist stance vis-à-vis the Great War. Within months, Americans would be dying in their thousands in the hideous, Satanic meat-grinder of trench warfare, ostensibly to avenge the deaths of those unlucky dozens.

On this day in 1930, the Solar System’s ninth planet is saddled with the decidedly Hellish name Pluto, borrowed from the Greek Lord of the Underworld. Upon their discoveries, Pluto’s moons would be given the similarly Stygian monikers Charon, Nix and Hydra. Who makes these decisions?!

On this day in 1945 a German newsreader announces that Adolf Hitler has "fallen at his command post in the Reich Chancellery fighting to the last breath against Bolshevism and for Germany.” And the crowd goes wild!

On this day in 1948, The Democratic People's Republic of Korea – a.k.a. North Korea – is established by “Great Leader” Kim Il-sung. Folks, you couldn't pack more irony into a single sentence if you tried. Today, nearly 75 years and two generations of despotism later, North Korea retains its title as quite possibly the single most fucked up nation on a planet that is known for being home to some incredibly fucked up nations.

On this day in 1956, the polio vaccine developed by Jonas Salk is made available to the public. And we all lived happily ever after.

On this day in 1960, a Lockheed U-2 spy-plane being piloted by American Francis Gary Powers is shot down over the Soviet Union. Powers survives by ejecting, and his U-2 glides to a soft crash-landing that leaves it frustratingly intact, allowing the Soviets to learn everything about the plane's structure and abilities when they pick it apart. Powers is interrogated for months, then forced to confess to espionage. He was sentenced to 10 years hard labor at a Soviet work camp, but ended up serving less than 8 months before being sent back to the USA in a spy-swap. After a different kind of rough landing back home (he was interrogated by hostile officials from the CIA, Pentagon, a few Senate committees and even Lockheed!), Powers continued his aviation career until 1977, when he heroically ditched his helicopter rather than risk a crash-landing in a field where children were playing..

On this day, in 1986, Russia finally tells the rest of the world about the nuclear accident at Chernobyl… five days after what was at that time the worst meltdown in the history of nuclear power. Much to the delight of the Ukrainian Tourism Bureau, “Fukushima” is poised to replace “Chernobyl” as short-hand for “FUBAR Nuclear No-Go-Zone”.

And, finally, on this day in 2003, Americans celebrate "Mission Accomplished Day" when Preznit Dubya appears before a cheering crowd of soldiers on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln in full padded-crotch regalia to declare that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended.” Sadly, nothing could have been further from the truth.

ATTACK OF THE RANDROIDS!

I wrote this essay in 1998, and I published it independently on a bit of web space I was allotted by the first ISP I ever signed up with. Aside from rants on alt.movies.kubrick, it's the first thing I ever published online, and it was soon noticed by the influential proto-blog Suck.com, who liked it so much they devoted half a day's edition to it. I present it here, now as an archival curio that still holds up, if I do say so myself. Enjoy! - YOPJ

Reading Does a Body Good!

In early 1998, the Modern Library Association (a division of Random House) assembled a group of America's leading literary figures in order to compile a list of the "100 Greatest English Language Novels of the 20th century." Even though it was a marketing ploy obviously geared towards getting more Americans to peruse Random House's catalog of classic literary works, THE LIST was given major coverage by many international media outlets, including CNN and most of the various news-oriented magazines. For the first time in a long time, it seemed, books were "big news."

A Dry, White Reading List

Ultimately, THE LIST turned out to be a somewhat stodgy, predictable affair, populated by the stalwart giants of literary Modernism. No one was surprised, for instance, when James Joyce's Ulysses came out on top, with his Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man coming in third, after the obligatory appearance of F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Likewise, anyone who's spent any amount of time in a university English class could have told you that Joseph Conrad, D.H. Lawrence, William Faulkner and Henry James would each see at least two of their works gracing THE LIST. The inclusion of such required-reading mainstays as 1984, Catcher in the Rye, A Clockwork Orange, Animal Farm and Brave New World was also expected. It would have been difficult to engineer a less controversial, more mainstream list than the one compiled by the Modern Library Board. And yet...

OUTRAGE!

Mere days after the Modern Library Association published it on their website, THE LIST began to cause a stir. Web-surfers were invited to vote for their own favorite novels in the on-line Reader's Choice poll and, if they so desired, leave comments about THE LIST on the website's public discussion forum. The Readers' Choice poll results, which were featured side-by-side with THE LIST, were instantaneously updated with every vote cast. Surprisingly, like some municipal election in a Louisiana back-water - or inner-city Chicago - there was no limit on the amount of times a single individual could vote.

The forum quickly transformed into an electronic complaints department. Some of the comments were as predictable as THE LIST itself... "Female novelists were given short shrift," some said. "Where are the novelists of color?" others asked. "Most of the books on this list were written by DEAD WHITE guys!" still more proclaimed. "What about Lord of the Rings? Dune? Stranger in a Strange Land? The Stand? The Autobiography of Malcolm X?" Never mind that many of the books people voted for simply didn't meet THE LIST's most basic criteria; people wanted to see their favorites up there in the Reader's Choice Top 100. Therefore, in the early days of the list (before the webmasters decided to step in and perform occasional clean-up duties), The Bible, Dianetics and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance all got hundreds of votes as being among the best English Language Novels of the 20th Century.

Like 'Anus' Without the 'Us' 

One group, however, was particularly incensed at their fave rave's omission from THE LIST. Fans and followers of the novelist, pseudo-philosopher and cult leader Ayn Rand flocked to the Modern Library website in droves. There, they spammed the Reader's Choice poll with multiple votes for her massive, rambling doorstop odes to the 'true' heroes and masters of the universe: union-busting industrialists, terrorism-prone architects and... bankers. Within hours, hordes of brainwashed Randroid sycophants, self-professed 'individualists' with a paradoxically intense desire for the status-quo validation to which such glorified popularity contests amount, had sent Atlas Shrugged rocketing to the top of the pops. The Fountainhead, We the Living and Anthem followed closely behind.

Not content with spoiling the Readers' Choice poll for anyone genuinely interested in the results such an exercise might yield, the Randroids proceeded to take over the public forum with their whining complaints, their accusations of rampant, conspiratorial political correctness on the Board's part, their denigration of great novelists for perceived obscurantism, and their proclamations of devotion to the revealed truths contained within the writings of the greatest political thinker of all time: Ayn Rand. One can only imagine the twisted wreckage of a brain that would produce statements of such gleeming, gem-like stupidity as the following...

"No single author has had a greater impact upon the political and economic direction of this country through her fiction than Ayn Rand. That claim will be ignored rather than refuted by the fearful leaders of this country, particularly those affiliated with the Council on Foreign Relations, but none can deny the continuing popularity of her works despite the shunning of most reviewers for over 50 years."

This is the kind of deathless prose one might expect to find scrawled on the walls of a padded cell, in blue crayon, repeated over and over again in a tight, chicken-scratch script. And, sadly, it is indicative of the general calibre of literary criticism and insight offered by those Randroids who chose to grace the public forum with their illuminated views.

In reaction to the Randroid invasion, some people began to vote for such fake Rand novels as I Want to Blow Monkeys and Irony Defined. Yet another merry prankster got Anything Not Written by Ayn Rand on the list, and it recieved quite a few votes before being unceremoniously yanked by the powers that be. For a while, William Shatner's Tekwar was functioning as a de facto protest vote, even giving Atlas Shrugged a run for its money, before it, too, got yanked. Also, the public discussion forum began to smolder with anti-Rand sentiment and comments.

And so it was that, within hours of posting the results of their official list of the 100 Greatest Novels of the 20th Century, the Modern Library website found itself hosting one of the most virulent, nastiest, most glorious flame-wars in the history of the Internet. 

 

Their Own Worst Enemies

Not unlike the virgin who, on the night of his deflowering, sees himself as being instantaneously transformed into a virtuoso lover of Casanovian proportions, so, too, the Randroid. For instance, upon first completing one of her longer novels, the average Randroid often feels a great sense of intellectual accomplishment. Simply because he managed to finish a REALLY BIG BOOK, the Randroid seems to feel qualified to hold forth on issues of literary merit. When his proclamations are shot down and his protests fall flat, the Randroid retreats into a paranoid rationalization. He blames a conspiratorial "elite," a statist, anti-individualist establishment which so fears the liberating truths contained within Rand's works that they have constructed a net of clever sophistry from which it is nigh impossible to extricate oneself.

The same goes for Rand's so-called "philosophical" books. For most fans of her novels, Rand's For the New Intellectual, An Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology and Philosophy; Who Needs It? are the first (and only) books on philosophy they will ever read. And, just as knowing nothing about literature doesn't stop a Randroid from making authoritative proclamations about what 'good' literature should aspire to be, a lack of even the most basic background in philosophy doesn't prevent him from declaring that we should discard all previous modes of thought as worthless and adopt Objectivism wholesale. Inevitably, the Randroid's arguments are shot down, and, invariably, the Randroid takes his defeats as further proof of both Objectivism's status as a persecuted ideology, as well as (paradoxically) its correctness. This, of course, is the modus operendi of zealotry.

Are Objectivists Fundamentalists?

It is ironic that Objectivism, an explicitly atheist philosophy, has much in common with religion. For instance, like most religions, Objectivism is a hermetically sealed, self-perpetuating construct. Arguments with Randroids invariably devolve into "it is so because Ayn Rand says it is so." So, what are some of the similarities between Objectivism and religious fundamentalism?

Both are essentially messianic, their doctrines dependant upon revealed truths offered up by authoritative figureheads. A perusal of various Randroid websites offers ample proof that, to the Objectivist, Ayn Rand serves as nothing less than a secular Christ (or, at the very least, a Zarathustra: bringer of thunder and lightening to the trembling, unworthy masses).

Both religious fundamentalists and Objectivists are convinced that the rest of us can't go on living without learning the undeniable, revealed truths endorsed by their masters. Thus, both are enthusiastically evangelical. At least Scientologists, despicable though they may be, have the decency to be so ashamed of their lunatic beliefs that they spend millions of dollars in lawsuits trying to keep them secret.

And, finally, both would have all of humanity bow down to their respective belief-systems, no matter what the democratic or legislative will of the people. 

 Is Objectivism a Cult? 

Here, for your perusal, is the final, official version of the Modern Library Readers' Choice Top Ten Novels of the 20th century...

1. ATLAS SHRUGGED by Ayn Rand 

2. THE FOUNTAINHEAD by Ayn Rand 

3. BATTLEFIELD EARTH by L. Ron Hubbard 

4. THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkien 

5. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee 

6. 1984 by George Orwell 

7. ANTHEM by Ayn Rand 

8. WE THE LIVING by Ayn Rand 

9. MISSION EARTH by L. Ron Hubbard 

10. FEAR by L. Ron Hubbard 

I suspect 1984 and To Kill a Mockingbird sneak in there thanks to the fact that they are both extremely popular among high-school students, and frequently appear on academic required reading lists. As for Tolkien, his Lord of the Rings is merely ubiquitous, and its appearance not surprising. Hubbard and Rand's multiple placings, however, are another matter altogether. 

Hubbard was the founder of Scientology, one of the most controversial scam religious movements of all time. Even in death, he holds authoritarian sway over his worshipers, therefore cultish mass-spamming by his devotees is to be expected. Rand, on the other hand, founded a philosophy which was supposedly based on extreme individualism and personal freedom of thought. I can't imagine anything more amusingly ironic than the idea of hundreds upon thousands of self-declared free-thinkers and individualists, huddled in monastic intensity over their keyboards, voting for Rand's novels again and again and again, desperately questing for the collectivist accolades that come with winning a glorified online popularity contest.

The fact that they succeeded is doubly ironic.

The End of All Things

In his essay The Unlikeliest Cult in History, Michael Shermer provides us with perhaps the most succinct and eloquent explanation of why Rand's philosophy flourishes only in society's dark and lonely corners, unable to withstand the light of day.

"As long as it is understood that morality is a human construction influenced by human cultures, one can become more tolerant of other human belief systems, and thus other humans. But as soon as a group sets itself up to be the final moral arbiter of other people's actions, especially when its members believe they have discovered absolute standards of right and wrong, it is the beginning of the end of tolerance and thus, reason and rationality. It is this characteristic more than any other that makes a cult, a religion, a nation, or any other group, dangerous to individual freedom. This was (and is) the biggest flaw in Ayn Rand's Objectivism, the unlikeliest cult in history. The historical development and ultimate destruction of her group and philosophy is the empirical evidence to support this logical analysis."

 What About THE LIST?

Ultimately, as regards both THE LIST and the Reader's Choice poll, one may be forced to side with the editors of The New York Times, who state: "The streets will be littered with lists like this when the millennium comes, and when the millennium goes they will be swept into heaps and forgotten."

THE NET - A CONCORDANCE

CLIP AND SAVE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

A CONCORDANCE 
or a series of notes and thoughts on 

THE NET, THE UNABOMBER, LSD AND THE INTERNET

a documentary by Lutz Dammbeck (2003) 

The following notes were taken by myself during two separate viewings of the film. The text presented includes all of the subtitles from the film (indicated by quotation marks), as well as a number of observations, side references and potential avenues for further inquiry that came to mind as I watched. The reasons for my engaging in this admittedly somewhat pedantic exercise are twofold. Firstly, I do it because I believe this film to be an important and insufficiently propagated document in the field of parapolitics, and anything I can do to help get it seen by more people - and, in particular, the RIGHT people - I see as worth doing. Secondly, I wanted to create an easy-to-use text and image based "concordance" that both documents and compliments the original film. I leave it for you readers to decide whether or not I have succeeded on that count. - YOPJ - 26/04/2012

PRELUDE 

"In 1930, Viennese mathematician Kurt Godel shakes the foundations of mathematics with his incompleteness theorems. He demonstrates that in every formal logical system there are problems that are not solvable or conclusively determinable. The truth is superior to provability."

Mathematician Kurt Godel

THE NET 

Continue Reading this Concordance at the Useless Eater Blog...

THE NET - THE UNABOMBER, LSD AND THE INTERNET

In 2003, German filmmaker Lutz Dammbeck released an independently produced documentary film entitled Das Netz, the English title being The Net: The Unabomber, LSD and The Internet. Since its debut, it has slowly been acquiring a reputation as a must-watch production among serious students of conspiracy, secret histories and parapolitics in general. 

In my opinion, this is a film that deserves much more attention that it has been given, and it needs to be seen by a lot more people, for a long list of reasons that will become obvious once you've watched it, which you can either do here, using the embedded video provided below, or on Youtube.com, where the subtitles will probably be a lot easier to read.

Unfortunately, the film's official website is a German language only. Unless you're one of those lucky Fritzes and Friedas who speak it, that's too bad, because the site seems to have a pretty active forum section.

I am bringing this film to your attention now because I have nearly completed a lengthy "study guide" for it, which I intend to post here sometime during the next 24 hours. In it, I flesh out some of the concepts Dammbeck touches on only briefly, tease out some potential implications and offer my own, alternate explanations to some of the information presented in the film. I also offer suggestions for further avenues of research to compliment and broaden your understanding of the rich bounty of information presented in this remarkable film.

And so, in closing, I urge you to watch this film, and keep watching this space for my upcoming study guide!

Cheers!

YOPJ

TIM & ERIC’S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE LIVE BLOG!

The following is running commentary to the film Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (henceforth to be referred to as T&EB$M). I live-blogged this movie from home, over Facebook, on Saturday, April 21 in This Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twelve.

The sharp-eyed and/or mathematically-inclined among you will note that it took me approximately one hundred and ten minutes to watch this ninety-three minute movie. That’s because I occasionally had to pause and/or rewind to make sure I’d seen or heard what I thought I’d seen or heard. Some of the posts feature follow-up posts and notes, mostly from myself, but occasionally from a small handful of my Facebook friends. These are all labeled accordingly. 

Overall, I’d have to say that I enjoyed T&EB$M a great deal more than I thought I would, which is probably due to all the negative reviews I'd read before watching. If you can get over the stars’ inclination towards post-post-ironic facial hyper-mugging, it’s as effective a smarter-than-it-seems gross-out stoner comedy as you’re likely to stumble across in this lifetime, and it is orders of magnitude funnier (and far more pleasurably disorienting) than any entertainment property featuring the talents of either Harold or Kumar.

That’s enough pre-blog squawking from me. Let’s launch into the festivities, shall we? And-a one, and-a two, and-a...

A MUSICAL EDUCATION IN 1001 STEPS - PT 29

Muddy Waters - Muddy Waters at Newport 1960 (1960)

It's Muddy Waters. If you like Muddy Waters, you'll like this album. If not, then you won't. I kind of liked it, but when you listen to a bunch of Muddy Waters songs in sequence, you sort of get wise to the methodology and it loses some of its shine. Most of his lyrics consist of the song titles repeated over and over while a 3 chord blues vamp chugs along behind him in the mix. Including all the intro/outro and Newport festival stage announcement ephemera gives you that "I was there" feeling, but, again, if you don't already "get" this kind of music by now, this album probably won't convert you - even though it converted many, many people, way back in its day..

I heard it before? Most of it.

Do I like it? Yes. But I don't love it.

Am I keeping it? Only the standout tracks.

Standout Tracks? "I Got My Brand on You", "Got my Mojo Workin", "Baby Please Don't Go"

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR HALLOWEEN!