ENOUGH WITH THE PLUSH CTHULHU TOYS ALREADY

As a Cthulhu True Believer, I have officially had enough of "plush Cthulhu" and other light-hearted Cthulhu-related photos, Photoshops, videos, meme-squats, etc that have been proliferating across the Internets over the last few years. When every cheap plastic Jesus on every glow-in-the-dark crucifix in every good Catholic's home begins to spurt blood and shriek in agony, and when all the newborns in the world stand up ramrod straight in their cribs to chant in unison in a tongue no one can comprehend, and when half the Pacific turns into a new, rotting continent of writhing, jellied sea-beasts, and when the pitch-black spires of the city of Rlyeh finally rise stabbing toward the stars, and when the doors to His gargantuan crypt open wide, and when every ear on the planet begins to bleed at the Call of His awakening... maybe then people will finally understand why these fluffy little thotchkes are not now, nor have they ever been, cute, adorable or funny.