Monday, May 9, 2011


Driving the Trick Taxi, as my friend Fernando christened it, is getting to be a real strain. Impossibly stupid hours, lousy pay - and I don’t even have to do the johns. In the end, taking gas and repair costs into account, I think I’m making something like nine dollars per hour. Well, that’s the glamorous, high-stakes world of illicit sex for you.

Last night I had a couple of veterans in the car - Naomi and Lynn. While we sit in the McDonald's parking lot at Thorncliffe, they bitch and carp about every last thing, real foul mouths on them.

“Remember back when we never had to do Pakis?” Naomi yells over her shoulder at Lynn.
“Gawd,” Lynn groans. “Can you believe it's got to the point where you have to sucking Paki cock - and for LESS than what we made back in the day!”
Naomi shakes her head bitterly. “Yeah - and now it’s almost nothing BUT Pakis!”
“And they’re cheap fuckers,” Lynn carries on. “No Paki has ever tipped me a dollar - not one.”
Their voices get louder and meaner as their anger builds, like a crap stereo turned up way too high. I feel like whacking my head against the top of the steering wheel.


  1. I was gonna write "brilliant post, as usual" but that's really just bullshit cooked up by a mind with a positive affective disposition toward Basil.

    You see, Basil is really advanced and quite articulate in the art if bitching about his circumstances. He is a talented writer who can make the mundane act of waiting in a car far more exciting than a car chase. But his formula needs some work. The formula is this: Basil is in a place he doesn't feel like being, girl with him says something stupid, Basil tells us his initial reaction while keeping to himself and us readers (breaking the 4th wall) what he'd like to tell the girl, girl say something even stupider, which becomes the punchline, and The End. He's really good at triangulating a larger reality from his miserable circumstances and those of the girls. For instance, girls posing as Asians or Latin Americans or whatever to satisfy guys with specific ideas of what the sexual side of femininity is supposed to be. The problem is he doesn't do it enough but is good enough to pull it off if he wants to. His rant reflects larger currents of immigration and diverse sexual preferences; it's just 2 sentences to tie in demographic changes with sitting in a car with a couple of hookers.

    As a drunken snotball junkie, I would like to see the formula altered to tie his microcosms into a larger, possibly even objective reality. Cheers Basil, and Cheers my old pal Jerky!

    1. I can't believe this is the first that I'm seeing of this reply. Assuming seven years isn't too long ago for this to reach its intended audience... who is this?