Monday, December 12, 2016

ERIC GARLAND'S EPIC TWEET-STORM "LE GRAND JEU"

The last time I read an attempt at realpolitik analysis that jibed so completely with my own take on things as Eric Garland's epic Tweet-storm outlining an all-too-plausible wide-angle view of both where we stand and how we got there... was never.

As I continue to work on my own wide-angle take of the PizzaGate psy-op, this gives me some serious food for thought, and a plethora of new angles to contemplate. Thanks for making a difficult job all the tougher, Eric...

  • <THREAD> 
  • I’m now hearing this meme that says Obama, Clinton, et al. are doing nothing, just gave up. Guys. It’s time for some game theory.
  • ACTOR ANALYSIS: The Russians enter the Game with a broad objective, flexible tactics, and several acceptable outcomes.
  • Russian interests have been, for many years now, the subversion of Western institutions, principally NATO, but any will do.
  • This subversion can take many forms: driving wedges between US-Commonwealth-Euro intel cooperation, break up NATO, create chaos.
  • This game has been developing for many years, is asymmetrical, and much cheaper than building a decent aircraft carrier.
  • Plus, the Russians f**king rule at covert shit. Always have. Ask a cold warrior. Mucho respect for our adversaries. They do clever work!
  • Post-communism, they're reduced to Drunk Uncle status in the global balance of power. Mouthy, smart, degraded, much reduced in stature.
  • Russians as *people* are civilized, artistic, enamored of brilliance and tragedy, and generally proud. And should be. They do not like this.
  • From this position launches an initiative from an old hand at the KGB, now solidified in influence: Subvert for the throat. Go big. Go hard.
  • While the West is frivolous and lazy and "Post-History," the clever take advantage. And here begins our present story.
  • Let's skip ahead to "Wikileaks." BRILLIANT. Ingratiate the Left into this anti-establishment distrust of Western intel.
  • George W Bush and Dick Cheney being slovenly, reckless idiots, the moral authority of Iraq and US intel is nil. In step "journalists.
  • Stealing hard drives from US intel and dumping them to foreign agents? That's *snicker* "journalism!" FREE SPEECH! ROFLMAO.
  • Oh, and such grand characters, so well run: Manning, Greenwald. So righteous, yet fragile! And feisty! Try a Twitter war with Glenn!
  • OH YOU PHILISTINE, YOU JUST HATE JOURNALISM! *sigh* *swigs something strong* And Moscow must have been doubling over.
  • THEN, OMG, that worked so well that the pièce de résistance was next: SNOWDEN!!! BOOYAH! THE BIG GAME! NSA! PRISM! SPASM!
  • (incidentally, the NSA was about the only agency the Russians took seriously) But then this EARNEST young man. He tells THE TROOTH!
  • DID YOU KNOW YOUR TOASTER IS SPYING ON YOU? THE GUBMINT! IT IS EVERYWHERE! THEY SPY ON (*controls snickering*) ALLIES! ALL BAD!
  • And still hungover from the rotten venality of the Iraq War and Bush's perversion of the IC as reliable, Wikileaks journalisms the NSA!
  • DON'T YOU CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE. HARD DRIVES FROM THE NSA IZ JOURNALISM! Even when you take the files to Brazil! Honest! Ask Glenn!
  • And then, automagically, our man Ed ends up...what's this now? In Russia? Well, they are such welcoming folks! How...nice!
  • Langley and Fort Meade run out of bourbon in about three hours, and every intel guy in Russia is drunk, dancing on the desks, and LAFFING.
  • AND THE LEFT! HOLY F**KING ADORABLE BATMAN! Honi soit qui mal y pense! How dare you suggest untoward Russian involvement! Journamalisms!!!!
  • US intel snorts all of the Robotussin in the DC/MD/VA area. Putin calls Snowden "A weird guy." LOLZ. Moving on to the current chapter.
  • MEANWHILE, AT THE FOX NATION FORUMS: The other part of this impressive op is percolating - the buttress of the Alt-Right.
  • ONCE UPON A TIME, Dan Rather chased Nixon around a room asking him questions VERY HARSHLY and the notion of the Evil Media Elite was born.
  • See, because Nixon got impeached, that meant the media was in on it! WaPo! NYT! Traitors! We look bad! And the media hate begins.
  • Never mind that to know something in Topeka, somebody's gotta send you a newspaper or a radio signal or whatevs: The Media Is Lying.
  • Now, it's true, high level journalists and editors don't always see the world like Johnny Lunchpail in Missouri. True facts. But. Trouble.
  • Republicans decide to create a whole new layer of think tanks and media outlets in the 1980s dedicated to The Other Side.
  • The think tanks have a POV, but some are quite good, Cato in particular. Heritage came up with what's now Obamacare. AEI...ehhh. 2 outta 3.
  • But then the media play comes in. The cranky insane tent pastors on AM radio get...a makeover. They become Legitimate. Embraced.
  • Magnates start investing in outlets. Brand new pundits get huge audiences yelling about The Way Things Ought to Be (for White People).
  • And it's more successful than free chicken and beer. The money flows, the ratings swell. An Australian starts a TV network in the US.
  • What develops is an attractive, well-produced alternate universe. You no longer need an alternate take. You have alternate facts.
  • Al Gore mutters and bores his way out of a presidency in a race against a guy who spoke English like he learned it from Rosetta Stone.
  • And now, the stage is set for a metastasis of batshit nuttery, jingoism, and irrational autocratic fervor. A party becomes a cult.
  • September 11, 2001 occurs. A buncha guys are in DC who couldn't wait to go to Iraq. And the right wing media is shiny and tuned-up.
  • We go kick a bunch of barbarian ass in Afghanistan, as well we should have. They were beating women and destroying Buddhas. F**k 'em.
  • But then, The Axis of Evil Speech. And all the analysts in DC I know collectively go, "Oh, fuuuuu...they're not serious, are they?"
  • Bill Clinton spent most of his years pounding the living snot out of Hussein. Dude built anything funny lookin', in came the rockets.
  • There was one concerning nation-state for most, and - hint - it's in Asia. The other threat was non-state actors. *ahem* Which played out.
  • And now - *headdesk* - they're going to Iraq. With bullshit intel. Goddamn it. GODDAMN IT. This is going to suck, said smart people.
  • And there's the entire right-wing think tank and media machine blaring, careening, gloating. From the gov't itself, and from every outlet.
  • HOW DARE YOU BE SKEPTICAL? WE HAVE AGENCIES! INTEL! IT'S SECRET! DO YOU WANT MORE PLANES IN YOUR NOSTRILS, UP YOUR BUTTS? BE PATRIOTIC!
  • And goddamn, did those media outlets sell a lot of ads for trucks, pain killers, pharmaceuticals and financial services. $$$$$$
  • Many earnest patriots also pointed out, hey, um, there apparently are no weapons that could have blown up Cleveland, so...
  • But now, this whole thing has morphed into tribalism. YES THEY DID TOO FIND WEAPONS OF MASS DEPRESSION AND YOU SUCK BUSH ROCKS PUSSY
  • Ann Coulter comes on TV to talk over B-roll of rusty munitions WE SOLD HUSSEIN and said, well look, there they are. Total. Propaganda.
  • America looks like shit. Our intel services take a helluva beating. Iraq's invasion - which was basically unplanned - results in chaos.
  • Katrina. Bush. Looking out the window. Confused. Hey, but in intel news, the National Geospatial-Intel Agency helps critically.
  • 2008. The housing Ponzi we used to get out of the DotComBust-9/11-era recession has now gone pear-shaped. Utterly nuclear.
  • America's banks, the one thing other than movies and video games we do reliably, all shit the bed simultaneously.
  • We then elect a cappuccino-colored president whose middle name is Hussein. The Right goes completely over the f**king cliff into insane.
  • They start the TEA PARTY! YO REMEMBER BOSTON! PAAAATRIOTS SOMETHING SOMETHING! TEA PARTY! NOTHING MATTERS TAKE IT ALL BACK YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
  • This political movement happens when the only thing Obama has really said with conviction is "Fired up! Ready to go!" In late November 2008.
  • But ON GEORGE WASHINGTON'S GRAVE THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!!! And the entire right-wing media gets its next several years of revenue LOCKED.
  • Now, we've got a really, reaaaally fertile field in which former KGB agents can make a long play. And Moscow gets to work.
  • America's at this weird nihilistic place, which is one thing for France and Russia, but NOT for earnest midwesterners who are agape.
  • Now the American Left has got some juice back again. But the Right is just apoplectic from pure suffering. Both are ripe for subversion.
  • The Left is out of love with American business and military-industrial, the Right foams at the mouth against legitimate government.
  • And the guys who have been twisting minds from Vladivostok to Havana and back get to work building an "alt" media structure.
  • We've already covered the genius of that who Wikileaks op on the Left. SCORE! Now for the perversion of the formerly nationalist Right.
  • JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST THERE'S A BLACK DUDE IN THE WHITE HOUSE! LIVING THERE! It's not hard to convince Southerners this is insane.
  • But put a little elbow grease in on some internet forums, and pretty soon you can have Northern John Adams-type conservatives, too.
  • A whole generation of disaffect Rush Limbaugh fans (WE LISTENED AND DITTOED SO HARD WHY IS THERE A BLACK DUDE THERE?) is ripe for picking.
  • In addition to alt-finance sites and "Russia Today" a new TV network, they start infiltrating "social media."
  • Disclosure: Because I'm mouthy all the time like this, RT had me on as a guest. They prop up US "subversives." And they don't edit you!
  • Fun fact: Al Jazeera and RT just let me talk. US media almost always wants some hand in your final product before booking you. Ironic, no?
  • But from about 2009 to the 2016 election, a madness is being brewed and slowly poured down the throats of increasingly hysterical Americans.
  • When you imbibe from this potion, everything is awful and everyone official is lying to you. Only other members of the cult are with you!
  • US media, which is complicit in many of our problems, is portrayed for the extremists as conspiratorial liars. All the time.
  • Formerly sane members of US society start sounding like my schizophrenic grandfather, who said Government was keeping him from His Mission.
  • Only the Gubmint knew the Archangel Gabriel was sending him to find the next Jesus. So, cut it out, CIA! Stop it, Giant Conspiracy!
  • And then people you knew from Functional Daily Life started talking that way. People with car dealerships. Dentists. Regular folk.
  • They started with CONSPIRACY, especially after 2012, because DAMMIT NO THERE SHOULDN'T BE A BLACK DUDE TWO TERMS NOOOO! NO NO NO NO NO NO
  • THEY ARE ALL IN ON IT. THE CORPORATIONS. THE MEDIA WHORES. THE GOVERNMENT! (except for my Medicare, don't touch that) ALL OF THEM!
  • A CABAL CALLED The Pentaveret: The Queen. The Pope. The Gettys. The Rothschilds. AND COLONEL SANDERS, BEFORE HE WENT TITS UP!
  • If you haven't unfollowed by now, 1. You're nuts and 2. Thank you for indulging my So I Married an Axe Murderer reference.
  • MOVING ON. The conspiratorial fever at about 108, we begin the 2016 election - AGAINST EVERYTHING HOLY - in 2015.
  • The Republicans debate over 712 times, discussing topics such as who hated Obamacare more, and who had a large penis. Jesus, that happened.
  • The Democrats all debate who's going to get out of Hillary's way first, except for VERMONT'S OWN BERNIE SANDERS, who...gets popular?
  • I'm from Vermont and have known Bernie forever, so I'm very surprised, but everyone kinda likes it. Hillary wins anyhow.
  • And now, the target for electoral mischief is enormous. Hillary is the most known quantity in America, with huge backstory.
  • Creating a conspiracy narrative around the Clintons is like creating a "southern" narrative around NASCAR and grits.
  • Now - with Trump as the non-conformist, not-like-all-the-other-rotten-conspiratorial-assholes paragon, the Russians go into overdrive.
  • The Russians didn't create Trump - only New York City and American gullibility could have done that. But they've got a SWEETHEART outcome.
  • Trump - a moron - is probably unlikely to take the whole enchilada, but that's perfect. If he gets close enough, he can cry UNFAIR! forever.
  • Amazing scenario for Russia - instead of RT, they get an institutional nihilist chowderhead with American credentials. They butter him up.
  • Hell, to hear many tell of it, the have kompromat on him. But anyhow, they invest in his stuff. He was there in 2013. They have a lever.
  • IF on the off chance, Trump actually (and who could guess this) wins, then...wow, they've got quite an opening.
  • Either way, on the run-up to Nov 2016, Russian involvement was as subtle as a fart in a spacesuit. Scroll down my TL for details.
  • The U.S. IC had its hair on fire. This situation was incredibly dangerous. A paranoid U.S. faction backing a rogue with ties to Russia.
  • OK, Jesus, at LONG LAST, back to my initial premise. Why didn't Obama and Clinton "do something?" JESUS, WHAT CAN YOU DO?
  • You come out and have the CIA enter the goddamn race for Clinton? True or not, we look like some weird cryptofascist state.
  • Or, you let the Russkis laugh and taunt and infiltrate Facebook with majillions of propaganda tales for idiots? Just let them run around?
  • Do you come out the day after this totally weird-smelling abomination of an election with all its technical difficulties?
  • Do you tell America the day after the election that Russia spearfished all of our think tanks in brazen fashion?
  • Hillary, for her part, gives a brief and all-too-calm speech and goes hiking. Probably the best move on the board.
  • Obama WELCOMES! Mr. Trump in an intense, welcoming welcome. To the White House. Mr. Big Winner Guy! Welcome! Fellow American!
  • Trump looks like he swallowed a goldfish and stares at the floor a bit too long. As if maybe a joke has gone too far.
  • In the next month, a small band of propagandists run in a circle and try to look like they're forming a government. It's ungainly.
  • And now, it's December 11th. Trump says he don't need no stinkin' intel agencies. Russia (BWA HAHAHAHAAAA) blames Ukraine! LOLOLOLOLZZZ
  • A lot of Republicans stare into the middle distance, except for McCain and Graham who are NOT HAVING THIS SHIT. (I salute you, gentlemen.)
  • And here we are. Americans. Hopefully soon united. This isn't a partisan issue. Obama isn't late to the party. People are doing their jobs.
  • If you think any of this is easy, you're ignorant and delusional. Tonight, though, I write to you with great hope.
  • This may be America's finest hour, as we act together with unshakable resolve to deal with enemies foreign and domestic.
  • We have done so in the past and come out a stronger, more just, more pluralistic nation. We will do so now. And for me? Or die trying.
  • America is the steward of a genius system entrusted to flawed stewards whose descendants seem to act on the right side of history.
  • This system is not rotten, not beyond repair, not exiled from the future. We have been infiltrated by agents who would drive us mad.
  • This is a nation built on civilization, humanity, and reason, rejecting the febrile superstitions of the past. It must stand. And will.
  • We are at present in a place of danger where some of our fellow citizens have forgotten our most cherished values. We've been here before.
  • America, reluctantly but dutifully, recognizes its internal contradictions and failings. Slavery. Racism. Internment. Classism.
  • The genius documents that gave rise to noble American sentiments were themselves authored by those who failed them. (h/t @ Mr. Jefferson)
  • We spilled the blood of our brothers to resolve the contradictions of slavery and then abandoned the project while killing Indians.
  • Americans proclaimed the equality of all men while treating women as chattel and all non-whites as lesser. We are indeed hypocrites.
  • But to be American is to accept that unflinchingly and to soldier forth for future generations, and DO BETTER, GODDAMN IT.
  • There are those who would mire us in worldly cynicism, to anchor us in a world where our institutions betray forever, where values perish.
  • And to be American is to face that intellectual, moral, and spiritual assault with the unshakeable devotion to something more lofty.
  • And when that loftiness fails, as it so often does, to be American is to seize it again and again, knowing that our Creator desire Progress.
  • Progress can come from Traditionalists or Labor Unionists or mystics or musicians or doctors or Senators or journalists. All are exhorted.
  • The Progress demanded by our Creator can be achieved by immigrants and natives, skeptics and believers, the elite and the humble alike.
  • That is America. That is the promise that Americans oft ignore and which more cynical nations would defile for their own gain.
  • More
  • That America will last long after I have died, long after new people have picked the torch. Long after we betray it again, as we will.
  • But America will go on, even if by another name, unless all who have heard her name are extinguished. This is just the locus of promise.
  • America came from the olive groves of Italy and the shipyard of Plymouth and the islands of the Philippines. Indivisible.
  • America came from the Torah and Voltaire's Candide and Adam Smith and zen koans and Greek mathematics and Rumi's poetry.
  • America is all these things, and should yet another absolutist demagogue, foreign or domestic seize her, it will be far from the end.
  • Now is a time for patriots. It's also Sunday afternoon. I'm gonna get a beer and watch football. God Bless America, and all nations.
  • </THREAD>

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