"Our Top Ten Lists Go To Eleven!"
It's been a long time since yer old pal Jerky has put together one of his patented Daily Dirt Top Ten Lists. After all, there probably isn't a more shopworn comedy conceit under the Sun. And yet, I get a lot of pleasure out of putting these lists together; and seeing as David Letterman retired last year, who better than yours truly to pick up the hack slack? Furthermore, I can think of no more worthy subject for this, the first of what is sure to be many such lists, than the Wicked Witch of the West Wing herself, the one and only... Kellyanne Conway! Brace yourselves, folks... this one gets kinda rough! - YOPJ
11. Kellyanne Conway looks like Wayland Flowers should be standing next to her with his arm up her ass.
10. Kellyanne Conway looks like a scarecrow brought to life by an evil gypsy curse.
9. Kellyanne Conway looks like Jigsaw from the Saw movies wearing a wig made from straw that pigs wouldn't eat.
8. Kellyanne Conway looks like she's a few weeks overdue for her monthly bath in the blood of unsuspecting young virgins.
7. Kellyanne Conway looks like how the inside of a menopausal woman's purse smells.
6. Kellyanne Conway looks like she lives on Diet Coke, nicotine gum, and a devastatingly powerful cocktail of psycho-pharmaceuticals.
5. Kellyanne Conway looks like she auditioned to be a cable TV horror host, but was rejected for giving children nightmares.
4. Kellyanne Conway looks like Dennis Leary. Even he thinks so!
3. Kellyanne Conway looks like a Real Doll designed by someone using images cut and pasted from old Mexican murder tabloids.
2. Kellyanne Conway looks like someone took a skin shed by Ann Coulter during a molt and pumped it full of fluids collected from one of Roger Stone's swinger orgies.
1. Kellyanne Conway looks like the kind of person who would willingly go to work for a person like Donald Fucking Trump.